My Ex.

There was this girl in my class in elementary school. I always liked her. Then we went to different highschools. Didn't see her again until a chance meeting in grade 12. We started dating and it lasted about 2 years.

Towards the end was a cycle of me breaking up with her then convincing her to take me back. This happenned 3 times. The fourth time, to her credit, she drew the line and would not take me back. I couldn't accept that. Over the next year I repeatedly e-mailed, facebook messaged, and called her with no response. One time I drove by her house at night with a hood on so i wouldn't be seen. I was looking for her car to see if she still lived in the same place. Then I went to the door and rang the doorbell. When she saw me she gasped and said "dear god" and slammed the door.

That was 6 years ago. In that time I haven't attempted to contact her, save one letter. I think about her everyday. She blocked me on Facebook so i made a new account under a different name so now I can see her profile picture.

I don't have any restraining orders against me and I haven't broken any laws that i'm aware of in my attempted contact with my ex. I guess in a legal sense I'm not a stalker ..... yet. But sometimes I feel like a stalker. I have a chronic interest in a person who clearly has no interest in me.

I try to be open to my friends and family about it but I've been told 10,000,000 times to "just move on". 9,999,900 of those times was me saying it to myself. You can't force yourself to forget and you cant control the way you feel, you can only try to control your behaviour.

handsomecow handsomecow
26-30, M
1 Response Dec 13, 2012

I understand about not being able to forget someone you love so easily. I have never gotten over someone after 6 years now, and miss him so much but because I love him I leave him alone and ache in silence. We've both moved on but I don't think I can love anhone as much as him