My Disease, My Teacher

I know I have a problem I guess its like a disease. No matter what I do I just cant get enough of her, everyday i wake thinking of her, at 7.15 every morning I can picture her arriving at school and I have her number plate and car model memorised and recorded in my notebook. When I arrive I double check for her car then look up to her office as I walk into the senior girls school. I have everything she wears recorded and i record all our interactions including what time and where they happened. After school I stay late just so I can say goodnight to her when she leaves then she smiles and says goodnight to me and it makes me feel like I would take a bullet for her. Its not scary stalking, I would never dream of hurting her I just love her so much. Please tell me Im not alone, I really need someone to vent to.

myLamia myLamia
18-21, F
25 Responses Mar 8, 2009

You're not alone. I stalk my teacher because I like him so much I know his car model his license plate where he lives what church he goes to his whole family his off period and one time he accidentally gave me a ***** when he hugged me but he didn't notice I know his criminal records every ticket he has ever gotten his full name his favorite color his favorite food how long he's been teaching his favorite song his twin brother the way he dresses what he has worn since school started his phone number and all of the places he has lived his whole life and his phone model and where he was born and his birthday

This is like me! I knew where my teacher lives, until she moved :(, I know her numberplate and car model, and I keep a note of what she's wearing every time I see her. I thought I was the only one.

ok this is so me.. everything abouut it but his french. i mean i really like french guyz and i was loving paris.. i knew everything about him.. fromhis plat number to wat time he would go to luch n wen he would he on dutyso i would take my friends there just to see him.. and i would stay after school just to see him.. n i knew what time he would leave so we leave at the same time.. i was soo in love with him.. n thats the hardest thing cause u cant stop thinking about him n everything about him made me fall in love with him... n 2 years after u met him am still in love with him n no matter how hard i try its soo hard to let go cause to me he was acting like he also cared.. so take this from me leave as soon as u can cause the longer u stay the harder it is to let go

i feel that too... except, mine's my male english teacher. it hurts you know? from the fact that i can't have him... you're not alone!

oops my teacher, this crazy auto correct... ugh...

heyyy, i feel like that too, I'm obsessed with my muffin

You're not alone lol :)) I'm somewhat like you as well. I even have lots of folders in my computer filled with his photos (and rare photos as well) and infos. I even research a lot about him and his life that most people even his friends don't even know (seriously) and I memorized the kind and color of his uniform everyday and what cologne he uses and where he buy. I even have clothes like what he has (design and sometimes, even the color --- I bought it from the store where he bought it. I know the store :P) I know his house, cellphone number, distant friends and family. ...in short, almost every single little detail about him! Even those that his closest friends don't even know. But yeah, just like you, this is not the scary or dangerous kind of thing and the least I would want to do is to hurt him. I'd protect him as much as I can.

Literally you sound like you're me. I go to a boarding school so it's actually quite easy to 'stalk' teachers, there are three teachers that I continually watch. I know where each of them live and have memorised their car types and number plates as well. When I talk to them and they reply it makes me feel so happy, like they actually acknowledge my existence. I thought I was crazy until I read everyone's comments but now I realise that what I do isn't actually that weird. Now im on break for two weeks and I really miss school I think about my favourite teachers everyday but I just keep telling myself that I can see them in two weeks time.

are you serious? I do the exact same thing. EPIC

You can tell me all about it any day! I've had my share of strong emotions for people.

oh wow, this is from a long time ago but I'm going to comment anyway.<br />
I had a crush on these two older girls [ive written a story recently about it] and when they left school, i latched onto this teacher. i was the best in the class already so she really liked me, we had two teachers for this class and they were like best friends out of school, and her friend was actually my mentor (i was one of those kids who had to get all their homework signed by teachers and all that crap) and we got along really well.<br />
so one day, when my mentor was away, i had a d&m chat with this teacher and we clicked. I knew her numberplate too [still do and im 3 years out of high school] and car, I knew most of her timetable and i always had excuses to talk to her outside class. I too would wait around school for her to leave so i could say goodbye. i would make detours to pass where i knew she was.<br />
then at the end of that year, my mentor left our school and i was in this teachers class again, and it just got worse. i think she was torn, she thought i was a bit weird but she still talked to me, and at the end of the year (last year of high school) we got each other presents and everything. <br />
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first year out of high school was tough, my high school was about 20minute walk, and i'd always walk there around 4.30 when she left just hoping to see her. i did a couple of times. eventually i got over it, but sometimes it still comes back. we stayed in contact via email for about a year. now i dont hear from her. i still think of her time to time but it's like i have to detox from the people i get obsessed with. sounds weird, i know but i dont know how else to explain it.

you're seriously not alone! there's scary stalking & there's not scary stalking. this isn't scary. you will move on

i have been through this too. :( i told my teacher i was in love with her then continued trying to see her. i wrote her love letters & everything, i waited for her around school, followed her & seeked attnetion from her. she actually expelled me from school, banned me from places & acted evily towards me. i'm a loving person & i'd never, ever have even dreamed on hurting her, i cared about her. it hurt so much, it's been a year & i'm still heartbroken & i feel like a criminal. the worst part is that now i'm at my new school i've fallen in love with another teacher, this time it's different because she's just like me & an amazing, lovely person. she understands & hasn't treated me badly. but i still can't get over everything. reading these things help me, i guess. but i still just feel like killing myself to erase the shame. :( i just need someone to tell me i'm not a freaky stalker! my friends & people i know do, but i still feel it inside. :( sorry for the rant, i just needed this. ;/

i have been through this too. :( i told my teacher i was in love with her then continued trying to see her. i wrote her love letters & everything, i waited for her around school, followed her & seeked attnetion from her. she actually expelled me from school, banned me from places & acted evily towards me. i'm a loving person & i'd never, ever have even dreamed on hurting her, i cared about her. it hurt so much, it's been a year & i'm still heartbroken & i feel like a criminal. the worst part is that now i'm at my new school i've fallen in love with another teacher, this time it's different because she's just like me & an amazing, lovely person. she understands & hasn't treated me badly. but i still can't get over everything. reading these things help me, i guess. but i still just feel like killing myself to erase the shame. :( i just need someone to tell me i'm not a freaky stalker! my friends & people i know do, but i still feel it inside. :( sorry for the rant, i just needed this. ;/

You're so not alone! I'd do all the same, actually I have memorized what you memorized, recorded what you've recorded. Wait around, look at the office...

Wowzer. You sound like me. I do the same thing!!!! Gahhaha. It's nuts. My friends use to know I had an obbsestion with my teacher. Then they all got bitchy to me, now I don't even talk about her to them. I also have my teachers number plate (:. I have a secret box in my room where I store all my stuff about her. Sometimes after school I cry because I just wanna be apart of her life... I don't know when she leaves school tho. But I do know where she lives (: hehe.<br />
Well, there's plenty more I could say. <br />
Message me. We can extrange stories. Finally someone who understands XD

i feel like it's kinda cute, but honestly maybe next time you are going to record her outfit you can compliment her on her outfit instead, next time you see her in the morning say hello to her. maybe eventually you'll have so many interactions that you won't have enough time to record them!!!!!!!!<br />
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also, you could focus on have more interactions with other people as well!!! <br />
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whenever i'm particularly fond on somebody i tend to make it a habit to record our text messages.....so i kinda get how ya feel, i like to keep mementos, have memories so i can create kinda a timeline....so when i'm old and grey i can look back and remember. like "wow, this was my first love and i remember how strongly i felt about them, and how i eventually moved on", even now i see progressions in my texts....when i started texting someone else more often and i developed affections for them........it's kinda cool!!!...but i digress..........<br />
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it's prolly better not to think of yourself as a stalker, cause if you keep thinking that it'll be a self-fulfilling prophecy and eventually you WILL be one!!!!!!<br />
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i also see you posted this a while ago.......so if you get this....... i'm curious whether you still "stalk" her or have moved on? <br />
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i'm eager to hear bout it =) message me if ya want!!

what feelings do you get from recording her outfits or your interactions with her?<br />
how would your day feel if you didn't look for her? (how would her day feel:))<br />
at the point where you would normally look, can you say something to yourself to choose a different action instead? i would normally look for her, however today I am choosing to admire the flower garden instead. next day comes, your choice may be to listen to a song on your ipod or eat a piece of chocolate (oops, that could replace an obsession with another addiction). distraction's just one way of changing behaviour though. <br />
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this doesn't feel like a desirable behaviour that you'd want to hang on to so if you put this energy to something more enjoyable or productive for you, how great will you feel?

I understand how you feel and you are not alone. But try talking to her too about you care about her!

That was an interesting entry. Yes, I think it is a disease or disease-like but definitely a (dis-ease) as Dr Phil says.

I understand wat u r saying. I kinda use to do the same thing to one of my teachers. But i moved on. She had a baby and was ingaged. Once i realized i would never b with her because of that. I moved on, and i moved out of my district. SO I DO UNDERSTAND HOW U FEEL. But i ended up moving on to one of my friends and its to hard for me to let her go.

lol@ Mama<br />
I don't seem to totally fit the profile of a stalker but I do keep a close eye on when my love is home and when she leaves. Mainly so I know when I can go to see her and visit with her.

This reminded me of the next-door neighbor boy who developed a serious crush on my daughter - she was 17, he was 12. He rode his bike by our house 137 times a day and always had to stop to fix the chain or check his tire pressure right at our driveway. My daughter said to me one day, "He's too little to be a stalker. I think he's "sprouting" me."

Maybe I'm confused on definitions, but this sounds more like a crush than stalking. Maybe some of the behaviors are the same, but the intent is different. I think 'stalking' always implies a threat. A crush just signifies an emotional attachment. As long as you don't interfere with your light o' love's activities or mess with her stuff, and as long as, if she ever asks you to cease and desist, you DO - I don't define this as stalking.<br />
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Of course I have been wrong before.

You are NOT alone. <br />
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Whoa......out of all the Stalker stories I have read, I can relate to this one the most, so much so, that I actually thought I had written it. I do everything you just said, only i could never wake up at 7:15 lol.