Post

Consumed

 In early 2005 I got a MAJOR crush on this girl while i was in 6th grade. she used to babysit accross the street and her brothers were friends with my brothers and so our familys would see each other occasionally. i just started thinkin about her a lot dont know why though, but late 2005 i stopped liking her as 3 girls became interested in me in the same month. I felt euphoric about the girls liking me and all and thought it just would not stop ever. Well I was wrong and my on and off girlfriend(who was one of those girls) broke it off with me as i became too shy to talk.  I was too shy because these other girls kept making fun of me online (and I was insecure as i was in MIDDLE SCHOOL) and telling me i had no friends and all, everytime i was on IM they would do this. I started thinking i would never get a girl and just could not understand why I got a lot of girls the previous year and then suddenly nothing but rejections. I became a bit depressed for a few months. To stop this i increased the value of and exxagerated (in my mind)  the strength of the  friendships i would make with girls. the depressed feelings went away. In the summer of 2006 I went to a Duke TIP college for kids summer program for 3 weeks and became obsessed with this girl there and i had anxiety and could not concentrate on my classes thinking about her (my mind now exxagerated the friendships to feel like love). These feeling subsided almost immediatly after i left the Camp and now i dont get any of these emotions when i email her. when the next year started (8th grade) I sat by that girl i was obsessed with in early 2005 (who i nearly forgot about due to the other 3 girls) .i exxagerated the friendship i had with her and became obsessed with her and i felt so euphoric after i talked to her and such despair and anxiety when she didnt say "hi" or something. I emailed her on myspace starting early 2007 and i was so persistent and always telling her to reply that she eventualy deleted me ,  she added me and deleted me a few more times that year (I was now in 9th grade ) and eventually she stopped excepting my friend requests in january 2008 , i stopped until september 2008 (while secretely consumed with thoughts of her and her friends) and we talked again until i began to be stalkerish and kept messaging her and messaging her until she deleted me and blocked me , i made several new myspace accounts and kept begging her to be my friend. she eventually added me back and then deleted me in June 2009 after i did this again, she gave me her email address though and says i can message her on email but not myspace or facebook ,etc. and she says she is still my friend. I cant stop thinking about her. 

GreatGatsby GreatGatsby 16-17, M 2 Responses Jun 19, 2009

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OMG I'm so sorry you can always be my friend

she must be cute :)