I Wish the Peanut Gallery Would Just Shut Up

It's frustrating sometimes, my family is always hounding me about when I'm going to get a job.  People make jokes that I'm hanging around doing nothing.  I get lectures all the time about how we cant really "afford" for me not to be working.

Now what is up with that??  I understand that in this crazy world not every family can squeeze their pennies enough to keep one or the other parent at home, but you know what? my husband is a cheapskate.  With the Jobs i can get here in the boonies, its actually cheaper for me to NOT work- because I'd either have to commute a ridiculous distance or I'd have work at some lame job that wouldn't even pay enough to pay for day care.

So- i stay at home, and I'm mostly pleased with it.  I get frustrated sometimes, after all i LIKED having a job. 

But i feel kind of traditional about things, i am going to say home until i have my mental and physical health in order, and until after I've had my babies and started them in school (at least) 

It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make, and i just wish people wouldn't berate me for it.  I mean really, my 6 year old has PTSD for god's sake, he needs some kind of stability in his life.  He needs to know that there is always going to be somebody around when he needs it, that the world really can be a safe place. 

Anyways, i just wish that stay at home mom's got just a tad bit more respect.  It isn't easy.


Update 2009:  I'm now in the process of a divorce, living with my parents and working full time in my field- i don't wanna delete my stories. but its good to know when they aren't entirely accurate anymore.

Shierke Shierke
26-30, F
16 Responses Mar 20, 2008

women's lib! Live off your husbands! just kidding,<br />
Personally, I wish my wife wouldn't work and I did so I could just pay the bills and she could look after stuff. It works better.

I am a stay at home mother of four children. Their ages range from 19 to 2 years old. I have been home since our daughter was 6 months old. I never imagined that I would love what I do because I was a career woman. Today, I can't imagine handing my child over to someone else to raise. I have experienced economically high times and I am experiencing a very low economical challenge today but I am reminded that I strongly believe in what I do. In the good and bad times. I educate our children from home and have introduced the oldest in traditional family values and management. I don't receive many compliments from women in my age range but the older women are very consistent in discerning the difference in the children's mannerism and values. I desire to sponsor a strongly supported group for mothers that stay at home. I think that is so very important to have like minded women around to keep your focus. It does get challenging at times but I have learned that the importance is not having the material but having the values and saving the finances (whatever little you can save) to pass on for my children and their children so the legacy can live. To all of you mothers that stay at home. Be encouraged be strong and be determined to remain in the blessings of being at home raising your own children. I believe they will be the ones that stand out from the children whose parents put more value on the jone's rather than putting the value on their own beloved children. It is not popular to be at home in this era.

I completely understand. I could go get a job . . . but I'm not even sure it would cover two kids in full time daycare. Why don't people stop and think about these things before they speak. I can't stand uneducated people trying to tell others how to live. If most mother's stayed home to raise their offspring like we do each day, the world would be right like it was when our parents grew up. Ok sorry I'm off my soapbox. My husband it the worst about his comments. I think he acts superior because he's the money winner. Together two years ago we made well over $100,000/year. I was a professional Manager of a large office. He forgets I'm not an idiot. I have recently just gone back to school for Medical Reimbursement so hopefully I can begin to make some money from home.

im a stay at home mom of 3 young kids (4,2 &1) .<br />
As a staying at home you are always taking care of your children. We have to be there 4 the kids no mather we are happy, sad, tired or sick and than also keeping the house in order. Our job is never done and we don't get paid 4 it. <br />
How nice it is to leave for work alone and do your work alone, not being disturbt by crying or a dirty diaper. <br />
All those mom's working while others take care of their children, they just arent sacrifising themself for their children, because thats just what i believe it is.

that's wonderful to hear! Dont hear about a lot of stay at home dads but i always love to! It takes a lot of work to be a primary caretaker- i hope you enjoy it!

I have chosen to stay at home and raise my youngest son...It has little to do with economic but a sense of why would I want to have my child at a daycare and a baby sitter, if his mom could do it she would but I wanted to. We are no longer together but I still do the stay at home dad thing and I can make a living at home just as easy and I enjoy the time I have with my son. I love picking him up at school and being one of the few dads at everything. I love that his teachers think he is well mannered, smart, a sunny disposition and looks out for the other kids well being. I know what you mean when the guys are like where do you work....I'm a stay at home dad. Like its the plague....I must be stupid, I just learned to make a living and be happy not worrying about getting fired or a layoff and I work 2-4 hours a day making more than I was full time at a job.

been there done that jobs are evil make us slaves to the goverment life was alot more ez not working not have to be up at 6 a.m. not paying bills but im a slave now till i get off probation and i can live my life agin so dont let them perasure u in to getting a job be free Be FREE!!!!

Way to put your children first! I know it is hard, it is a thankless job, but it is a very, very important one! I'm with you!

I get it from my MIL..."So.... your daughter is old enough for daycare now. Are you going to start looking for a job soon?"<br />
"No, we have talked about this 100000000 times... I am staying home and taking care of the house and kids."<br />
"But, you have such a good education and you are wasting it."<br />
<br />
What!!!!????? In all reality, with the cost of putting 2 kids in daycare and the commute to the nearest town where I am qualified for a job, my great education gets me a job that pays for my gas and daycare bill.<br />
<br />
I tried taking a part time job after my daughter turned 2. HAHA! My house fell apart. My husband works 50 hours or more a week. And I was working and not getting home until 7 pm and dinner was not getting on the table until 8:30 (bedtime). Laundry was never done, the house was not clean and I was losing it.<br />
My husband finally set down to yet another baloney sandwich dinner after working 12 hours and said he had had enough. He told me that he respected and appreciated my decision to try to work and contribute to our financial pool, but he wanted me to quit.<br />
What a relief it was. <br />
My husband and I are very liberal people and do not believe in domestic stereotypes. In fact, in all my life, never did I think I would become the domestic diva while my hubby brought home the bacon... it just turned out that way. <br />
We pinch pennies everywhere we can and we are all so happy for it. My husband likes coming home from work to a clean house, with a healthy meal waiting for him and happy, clean children ready to share their day. <br />
My children behave better and my older son's academics are soaring. My daughter loves the time we spend together during the day and I wouldn't have it any other way. <br />
My husband has to tell his mother to 'stuff it' probably about once a month about me working. <br />
He has a good job that pays well and we are lucky enough to have great benefits that don't cost a lot. <br />
We may not be in the upper tax bracket, but we have a roof over our heads, my children are well cared for and well educated, and we are all healthy and well fed...sometimes too well fed...lol.<br />
You are not alone and as long as you are doing what is best for you and your family and they are all happy with it... you are doing great! You Go Girl!

I've been told its a "waste of my education" but always wanted to ask them- don't you want the most educated people you can raising the next generation??<br />
<br />
I don't think nearly as many people would give me guff if i didn't have a B.S. in psychology- which is just silly.

Indeedy, "Domestic Engineers" don't get proper respect! I say: Kudos to you all!! Any patient that tells me she's "just a housewife", I inform her: Toughest job; lowest paid! (money wise). To tell you the truth, if people had to submit a resume for the job, not many men or women would qualify!... not many at all!!!

Hehehe.... very nice ;-)

isn't that crazy!! "you should get a job" -- but where could i find one like yours??? wait you don't have one?? NVMD <br />
<br />
I suppose at some point i'll just learn to live with the fact that people don't see being a housewife as a job... but it still irritates me.

I just get flustered when friends and family are all "when are you getting a job??" <br />
<br />
because, as far as I'm concerned, I've got a job- pay isn't so great but the benefits are amazing...

Sorry you're not getting the respect you deserve for putting your family first, especially your son with PTSD. I think it's wonderful that you are wise enough to commit yourself to staying with your children until the time is right. Over time your decisions will bear fruit and even if others don't recognize this, you will know for yourself. Best of luck to you and keep it up :)

Thx for the support guys. :-D