Major Mommy Guilt

My little 3 yr old daughter said to me tonight, " Mommy when I grow up I want to be a Mommy and cook." I told her to aspire tobe something much better than that. This prompted my 11 yr old daughter to ask me what was so bad with being a Mom. I explained to her that I love being a Mom but that eventualky kids grow up and then what. Truthfully though as much as I love the being a Mom and I have truly been blessed to be at home with my kids for the last 5 years. Having said all that there are many days that it feels like a prison. I want to feel like me again not just a Mom. My husband and I go out maybe once every 2 years on a date. I figured out that I have only spent 4 nights in almost 12 yrs away from all 4 of my children. I find myself notcliking my house, resenting my husband, feeling overwhelmed by my children and just hating myself.
Recommitted987 Recommitted987
31-35, F
5 Responses Dec 8, 2012

I understand the feeling of losing yourself in your dedication to your children. I'm certain all good moms have felt this at one time or another. It sound like you need some time to yourself. Ask for help from your husband, or if he refuses to understand, ask relatives or friends that you trust. Even a couple of hours of "me" time will help.

It's easy to hate yourself when you find little value in what you do. But look what you've done! An 11 year old? You must be doing something right, because your children sound healthy and happy. Most of all: when your girls turn to you and say that they want to be a mom and a cook? That says to me that they admire you and what you do. Yes, you want more for your kids. You want them to aspire to reach the stars, and that is a noble goal! But what you are doing - raising your own children - there are few better goals than that.

Appreciate what you do. Be kind to yourself and what you have accomplished. Though it feels like forever now (and clearly you are burnt out!), they will be older soon enough, and you will have your time back.

I am a stay home mom with 2 kids, 3 year old and a 9 months baby. I can understand where you are coming from. Many a times I feel like suffocated in the four walls with two over-energetic and demanding boys. Imagine when I told my husband I wanna go out on a date just the two of us, he would tell me a date with the boys around is more fun. Men won't understand.

Exactly!

Well it sounds like you want something else in live right now. You have a lot of responsibilities. You totally deserve some time off though. Everyone does. Maybe a weekend away to clear your head? Or a long drive in the car just by yourself?

You knew that "eventualky kids grow up and then what" and yet had kids nontheless? Mind I ask what had you imagined they should do in the event they don't much like the life you've forced upon them just because you felt like having some children?

This comment is stupid and useless she give so much of herself to her kids and her only fear is the future for herself. She loves her kids and that kind of love grants her so down time. Raising children 24/7 isn't a job its a way of life and the out come will be 4 kind loving kids that always come home for christmas. Its a life time of hoping, waiting and loving some one more then yourself. It gives you so much in the end someone to take care of you when youre older someone to place your heart in their pocket. She only wants the best for them and aside from the daily tasks at hand the mental task is just as strong and demanding.

The outcome will be 4 more people who may or may not like the deal they never had any say in.

You are an ***!

I'm the kind and loving kid that's always home for christmas. Minus the kind a loving part.

1 More Response

What do you do while their in class? Do you find you enjoy taking the kids out? Maybe go out while he works

I have a 3 yr old who is home with me everyday while my older children are at school. We do have a story time group at the school library every couple of weeks here in town.I do grocery shp and stuff like that. We live in a rural area so doing anything else entertainment wise would mean driving in to the city which my husband really doesn't want me to do unless I absolutely have to. To him it's a waste of time and money.