Choosing Raising Kids Over a Career

I've been home since my daughter was born 10 years ago. Before that I only worked part time while my son was young. He's now in college and I'm home full time w/daughter.

I lost my mother when I was 9, so I wanted to "be here" for my kids. I have great kids, and some days am so thankful that I don't have to go out to a job and worry about where to sideline my kids, (sorry, but that's the way it feels for me), but I miss having my own separate work I do and having all the things a career can bring... respect, work associates/friends, a ready answer to the constant question, What do you do?...

Plus it's "all on you" if your kids don't turn out perfect. It's like you failed at your job.

Not to mention that I'm not very domestic, hate cooking and cleaning, etc.  Aside from the raising the kids part, it's just not very rewarding or satisfying work.  I feel like the house slave and I graduated summa *** laude, for godsakes! I feel very capable and did pretty well out in the working world before I had kids, but I feel like my working friends who have done well in their careers think I do this because I was a failure at work. I want to say, I'm not even in the game! And if I was, you'd probably be reporting to me!!

psssst psssst
46-50, F
1 Response Mar 6, 2009

I have been home with my three kids since the middle child was born (8 years old, now). I worked part-time and volunteered. I also graduated with honors and it really irritates me when people ask me what I do and then discount me because I have stayed at home. My kids are wonderful, but they have had some initial bumps and I have stayed home to help them with speech and vision therapy as well as surgeries. I do not have an extensive family. Except for my spouse, I am pretty well on my own. My own mother has always lived thousands of miles away. I want to tell people this. I want to tell them how much education I have and how accomplished I could have been. I sometimes feel like I have wasted many years and I want them back. I need to convince myself that it was not a mistake. That I did right by my family and that I can still be successful even though I am no longer young.