Adult Step Son

Here we go

How to start without sounding like some demented unreasonable woman

Am married to a fantastic bloke - love him dearly

However, fantastic husband came with attachments - both sons. Married for 3 years

One son, 27, has left home, is lovely, thoughtful and hard working

The second son is 24 and lives at home with me, my husband and my two teenage sons.

My own sons are no angels but they are children and behave like a great many teenage boys - noisy, untidy, hungry, surley but still loving

24 year old hasn't worked for nearly 3 years, short periods of work prior to that.

Stays in bed until mid-afternoon

Stays up until 3 - 4am

Doesn't lift a finger to help in anyway despite fact that my husband and i both work full time in demanding jobs (nurses). Have to say my own kids do very little as well.

Obviously no money coming in from him so he's fed, clothed by us plus cash for ciggarettes etc

Room is messiest room i've evr seen and laundry only rarely makes it to the wash bin - as a consequence when he runs out of socks and underwear he walks into our bedroom or one of the kids bedrooms and helps himself. At one point we hid my husbands underpants in my lingerie drawer and he just took them from there.

Takes clothes etc from kids rooms and denies it

Breaks things and blames it on them

Took my oldest sons house keys who I then told off as he told me he'd lost them - ss in same room while I was doing this with keys in pockets.


Anyeway came to a head recently

Sat with my two and chatted about how they felt, it went well and they explained how it made them feel. They were honest and I felt so relieved they'd had the chance to explain to my husband how things were

THEN, time to talk to SS

Started ok, but he just made counter accusations about the stuff and I got really mad and did some yelling really but i was SO angry as this has been going on since my husband and him moved in

SS actually cried and said he didn't feel welcome, guess I have been off with him as things so much worse recently

My husband did not support me and later said I'd betrayed him and perhaps he ought to yell at my kids next (he does when necessary actually)

Help, help, help


At a loss what to do

Should I cut my losses and just leave

Tuska Tuska
1 Response Aug 21, 2009

I can relate.