Dad Vs Step-dad (new To This Site)

I've been in a relationship with my fiance now for 4 years, I have two Step-son's (9 & 11) a step-daughter (17) and a biological daughter (9 months). At first things were awesome but as time goes on I find that I make more and more compromises with less and less thanks.

I pay all bills, rent, food shopping, petrol, car tax etc. and that's fine, I knew what I was taking on when I started the relationship, but I had to change jobs once we got serious because my job involved travelling to different countries from time-to-time as an exhibition contractor (which was extremely well paid and afforded me to take on a family financially) I am now on a very low income and can't afford such nice things for the family, something my step-son's can't understand and my step-daughter refuses to understand. I took this low paid job so I could be at home with my family and I haven't missed a single parents evening, football match, school show etc. since I've been with my fiance. Which, I feel, is far more important than material things. I also had a vasectomy this year (at the request of my fiance) which I didn't really want but my fiance made it clear that she wasn't having an operation and wanted no more kids.

The thing I find hardest with this situation is that the lads come back from their dad's (who pays no maintenance and is always too busy to make school functions) having been to theme parks, or buying computer games and the Sun shines directly out of his arse! My step-daughter only has telephone contact with her (different) dad as he lives at the other end of the country, but he's forever filling her head with stories of how wonderful his life is and she comes off the phone full of bitchiness towards the chaos that is our household.

Whilst I love each of the children, I can't help wanting to scream some times. At my worst I see I've given up a well paid job, a social life, good friends, my own money the possibility of any more children should this relationship fail and a lot of freedom to live in, what feels like, a battlefield sometimes......Am I selfish? I feel so much guilt for even thinking this way, obviously I'd never verbalise it towards any of them, which is why I'm here lol!

Pretty long old post, sorry guys!

WellasWallace WellasWallace
26-30, M
Dec 2, 2012