It's A Rollercoaster!

My stepdaughter is eleven years old. My husband and I have been married 8 years and have known each other 11 years. As far as she can tell I've always been around. Over the course of these 11 years her mother has been passively controlling. Initially, she would only let my husband see his daughter occassionally, when it was convenient for them to be apart. She would cry when he came to pick her up, making it seem like a bad thing. She would give excuses as to why she could or could not spend the night. After a while things would go well and then she would become controlling again. This has left my husband frustrated and feeling left out of his daughters life. It's hard because now that my stepdaughter is becoming a teenager she is withdrawn and driven by being social with her friends and it is very hard not to take those behaviors personally.

Recently the ex-wife has remarried live in number 4. We found out from someone in the community. Needless to say all the other live-ins came with some type of drama. Again my husband and I are frustrated. But according to her what happens in her home is none of his business.

Here is where I am. My husband and I have a daughter and all we can do is spend time with her every other weekend and if we are lucky two weeks out of the year. We can't inquire about grades or promote study because then we are putting pressure on her. We can't restrict the type of movies she watches because that would be sheltering her. But we can punish her when she is in trouble. GREAT!

The rollercoaster has recently taken a turn for the worse and I'm calling on God to get us back on the straight tracks.
stepofjoy stepofjoy
36-40, F
Aug 5, 2010