Spoiled 3 Years Old Step Mom, And A Mommy To Be!!

i have a 3 year old stepson and a mommy to be! ... he lives in another state so hes not always with his dad( my boyf.) what i understand, but everytime i tell my boyfriend what hes doing wrong, he start fighting with me telling me like "its not my bussiness"... for example, i tell him to not give the lil boy soda because we all know IT IS NOT GOOD, but he tells me im acting like an "old person"...i tell him to teach him some good manners like please and thank you, because the lil boy doesnt like to say these things.... all he tells me is like he wants to havve a good time with his son, and he doesnt want to fight with him while hes spending time with him... :s ... Right now, we are moving to another city so i can finish my bachelor degree and he continue college, and he decided to take his son back to the state where he lives( the lil boy came with his uncle, my boyfriends brother) and he wants to spend the weekend with him... ii told him to think about it cuz right now we dont have money, and we dont have a job in the new city yet, even he says hes not going to spend money over there, he will buy some toys to his son, i know him...It doesnt bother mee, but right now we are moving and have no money and my dad is helping us ... i dont want to act selfish or jealous or wrong, im just being realistic....i disagree the way my stepson is being raising, he burts, he farts, he doesnt say please or thanks, he doesnt say hi or goodbye, and i just want my baby in the belly be like that ... right now, im confused about staying with my boyfriend or not, cuz i dont like the way hes acting ........ am i wrong? am i acting to strict or immature?? :/ help please
sunshinesky sunshinesky
2 Responses Aug 8, 2010

You are completely right! I am living in a similar situation. My husband shares 50/50 custody of his 4 year old daughter and she is lacking in a lot of areas concerning proper manners and behavior. She is demanding, lies, creates very careless messes for me to clean up, pinches, grabs, slaps, coughes and sneezes all over everyone and our food at the dinner table, etc. My son on the other hand is being raised completely different and my husband agrees with us being more strict with him. He says that since he only sees his daughter for half of her life he just wants to be her 'friend', not her parent and doesn't want to spend the time he has with her teaching her right from wrong and occasionally having to discipline her. This is a constant source of stress in our house because she quickly becomes a very unpleasant person to be around. Good luck to you! I suggest maybe taking a parenting class together before the birth of your baby. Maybe your bf will pick up some helpful parenting tips.

No your absolutely right. The boy should be raised with manners and respect. If your bf has different ideas of how he wants his children raised its a little to late now to fight over it. But make it a point to let him know you won't put up with it. You won't deal with the outcome of him not raising him right. You have a baby to protect and having two different parenting styles isn't going to work very well. Your bf should get on the same page as you. If he isn't willing to raise his kids properly you should definitely think about how your baby will be raised and if this is the man you want to raise the baby with. Obviously these things should of been talked about before bringing a baby into the world, but every couple will have disagreements about raising their children. But when it comes to having respect and manners it is very important to have him on the same page as you.. Good luck!