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I Am a Stepmother

A Stepmother With A Hurting Heart!

By: proudmotherof2
Written on April 11th, 2012
Ive recently got engaged to a man with a 5yr old daughter from a previous relationship. My Fiance & I have been together since this little girl was 2 years old. When I first became involved with my fiance, my stepdaughter lived with her grandparents (the mother was an alcoholic and father had no where to live to care for the child so he signed her over to the grandparents). As of Feb 2012 we have gained Sole Custody of this little girl. She has been living with us in our home. The mother STILL has not taken the steps to be involved in this childs life. Lately I have been hearing that everywhere she goes, shes talking behind my back, saying im horrible person. & that my fiance and I keep the child away from her. To take things ever further, she didnt show up for the custody hearing in court. yet she blames us for her no show at court. She WAS served papers obviously,so there was no reason for her to not show up! Im so tired of being trash talked by the biological mother and ALSO now her MOTHER.. the grandparents now hate us since we gained sole custody.

does being a stepmother always have to be this dramatic? I love this little girl as if she were my own. I cant imagine my life without her. The mother never cared enough before to be apart of her life, til I became the mother role to her. I hope this all calms down one day. ema
By: proudmotherof2
Age: 22-25
440 people have read this story

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3 responses
  • Kvetina
    Kvetina

    I understand that feeling. I know how it feels and I know how it hurts but if I have learned something in these years is that love is stronger than everything else. Sometimes it's just too hard and it hurts a lot, but then, then comes the happiness. And the love of this little girl and the family that you are now (your husband, the girl, and you) is the best reward ever. In spite of all the pain and hard moments I have had I am grateful for my family: my husband and my two stepdaughters whom I love as if they were mine.

    So be strong, your stronger than all those ill-comments and hurting words. Love is stronger than jealousy or hate.

    Apr 23, 2012
    1 like
  • autumnevenings
    autumnevenings

    Hi Ema, Remember that you are the primary female influence for your young stepdaughter...and the mother knows this. She must be feeling very threatened by your presence and the relationship you are having with her daughter. Don't get involved with things that the BM may or may not be saying to other people, keep in mind that those that she is talking to will know her and will form their own views and opinions on the situation, they will see her lifestyle and you are likely to discover that quietly the general view is that your stepdaughter is better placed with you and her father.



    Remember that you have already proved your worth and the courts have given you sole custody, hold your head high and keep doing what you are doing, you are not required to justify yourself. Expect many dramas, that is part of being a parent, but ensure you have lots of fun along the way.

    Apr 12, 2012
    1 like
  • infolover
    infolover

    Well Ema, you just need to keep your chin up and stay positive. Make sure you don't poison the child's mind against her real mother. It will serve you well in the long run.

    Hugs.

    Apr 11, 2012
    3 likes