Lowered Expectations

When I first met you, you came across as being so honest. You were what? 12? What happened to you?

In the early years, I received half a dozen emails from your birth mother (I still keep them in a "BM venting" file) about how much of a liar you were and about how little you worked at home and about how you told her that you wrap your Dad and me around your little fingers and how we jump in response to your every desire. I disagreed with your mother but realized that she was reaching out for help so without agreeing with her about you, I gave her support. I told her that she was doing a good job - that you were a good kid.

I couldn't do that today. For many reasons, but mostly because it would be a lie.

I had expectations that you would have enough character to make friends at school.
I had expectations that when you visited us at our home that you would treat us decently.
I had expectations that you, at 19 years old, would know how to put out a hair dryer fire in my house without calling "Daddy" to help.

I had expectations that you would ask permission before inviting a perfect stranger to stay overnight in my house.

I have seen you whine like a baby on more than one occasion. I have seen you act bratty in public, I have seen you play the baby and the tramp. There is nothing ladylike about you. You're a lazy person. Those aren't pleasant traits but they would all be forgotten if you had only not been MEAN on top of all that. Or Cruel. Or had you not lied about me and your Dad to your mom and aunt and uncle and whoever else would listen. Did you think that we'd not hear about it?

Happy Birthday. We haven't heard from you since last December when you were told us what you wanted for Christmas. You didn't ask us how we were or what we were interested in. Your Dad missed your calls and cards and notes and emails that you promised him same time last year after you missed Father's Day and his birthday and Christmas. The beat goes on. I don't miss you. You've changed.
simplemagic simplemagic
May 9, 2012