Coming To Terms Stepmom..

I am a young woman who has been involved with my boyfriend for 5 years. We are planning on marriage for the future however I am
finishing my degree (1 more year!) before we marry. He has a 12 year old son, whom he had with a woman with they were both 18. My boyfriend has full custody of the 12 year old and his mother (is supposed to) have custody every other weekend. The birth mother is a mess. Of the recent boyfriends, she just had to file a restraining order against him because he beat her so badly she had to go to the hospital. (Might I mention she has two other boys who live with her full time.) Due to the recent events, my boyfriend's son has not been over to his mothers house because she and the boyfriend rented a house together. Over the course of the past few weeks I have began to find out even more about this woman that baffle me and I am at the point where I am so sickened by the situation she puts her children in that I am basically overwhelmed with shock.

A little back story....
My boyfriend filed for custody when his son was 3 after he caught wind that his son broke his leg due to abuse from the birth mothers then current boyfriend. Upon handing the child over she moved out of state for 3 years and maintained NO contact with her son and paid no child support. After my boyfriend gained custody of his son, he and his family noticed that his son had severe emotional issues and eventually found out that his son was Autistic as well as being diagnosed "developmentally delayed". His son also had $4k worth of rotting teeth he had to fix, all while she was living in another state and paying no support.
Fast forward 9 years and the birth mother is living back in state however is now more than $4k in debt for child support. (I will mention that for about 3 years her dad paid her support (lovely, right??).. My boyfriends son loves his mother dearly and I would never try to convince him otherwise however he always see's my boyfriend (his dad) as the bad guy because his mother has almost brainwashed him to expect nothing from her and expect everything from his dad.

I am at the point now that if his son even references his mother my skin crawls because I have such lack of respect for his mother because she is not a mother..she's a woman who gave birth and came in and out of a kids life. So I'm here for support and a place to vent because I hate having to talk to my boyfriend even more on the topic because he's had to live it!
GaFl564 GaFl564
22-25
May 12, 2012