Will This Work

I have been a stepmum for over 7 months and slowly realising that perhaps I should have thought more about not only making a commitment to my husband but the ties I made to his child and family. I have been involved with them for over 6 years and can safely saw that nothing has changed with regard our relationship, respect from child and too make matters worse the grandparent overrules my husband all the time as well as the bio mother. I have invested lots of time into helping my stepchild develop as a person as when I first came into the picture she was neglected by her bio mother examples being missed appointments, constant headline, lack of hygiene, no haircuts etc but through time I have been the one to teach her the basics of cleaning her teeth everyday, wearing deodorant, even to the point of getting her first training bra...but what I get back in return is a child who is withdrawn all the time due to the attachment issues she has and I presume the home environment with bio mum. I am starting to feel emotionally drained by it all and dread the weekends, have tried talking to my husband but it's hard for him to put himself in my shoes. Can honestly say that the you can never feel the true bond with your stepchild as your not a bio parent. If I could turn back the clock I may have made a different decision but then I know deep down I love my husband deeply but never comprehended the long term commitment of taking on someone else's child.