I Love My Step-daughter

I have been married to my husband for 4 years. About a month into our relationship he found out his ex was pregnant, remained together. He was a part of the baby's life from the very begining, he bought everything for the child while still paying child support. A few months before her 2nd birthday the child was removed by CPS from her mother, and custody was granted to my husband. 3 years later we still have complete custody, while the mother has supervised visits every other weekend. I am the one who cares for the child every day, i get her up and ready for school. I take her to the doctor, I stay up all night when she is sick, i gave her a bath everynight, and makes sure she eats everyday. My husband and i support her with no help from her mother. Everything has been a battle for us, in and out of court, never knowing what is going to happen, constant worrying while she is with her mother. Now she is almost 5 and asking question, "why don't i live with my mommy since brother lives with you." "why can't mommy come to school to see my teacher." I don't know how to answer these questions. Her mom has always bad talked me to her, and tells her everything is my fault. Though i know she knows that i love her and i care for her just like my own son. At school, everytime they draw pictures or any kind of craft that they are able to bring home she always says "i made that for mommy." It makes me feel very sad, even though i know it probably shouldn't, but i am the one who does all the "mommy" things. I know she loves her mom and i would never do anything to keep her away from her mom, but the things that has happened in the past i don't like her mom deserves any part of her life. I am at a lose for how i can get over these feeling.
stepmom07 stepmom07
1 Response Aug 29, 2012

Wow...I feel your pain. My bf an I have been together for 5 years. I met him when his daughter was 1.5 yrs. Her mom has NOT by any means been a parent to her. She's very selfish and at almost 7, my bf's daughter knows it. My bf and I have been living together for 3 years and like you, I take care of her everyday while she only spends every other weekend with her mom.I get so annoyed when she talks about her mom like she walks on water. Sometimes I have to take a step back and realize that I'm the lucky one. Her mother may walk on water now but guess who gets to spend every day with her? I do. Who gets to talk to her after school, watch her learn to read and grow in school? I do. Who does she know will always be there for her? Pretty soon your step daughter will realize that you're everything to her and will one day thank you. When her mom bad mouths you, ask her if you are that way to her or say mean things about her mom to her. I asked my bf's daughter and she said no. Be sure to reiterate that she can only believe what she sees and hears. It's tough to be a step.

Thanks! This is exactly what i needed to hear the past couple days have been very hard , after coming hinge from a visit my sd had been very respectful towards me. Today was the day i needed to read this!! Thanks