Help! The Bio Mom Is Making This Very Difficult For Me To Be Involved In Anything :(I have 2 (soon to be) step sons, ages 4 and 6. I have been with their father for 3 years, and are recently engaged. My fiance and his ex have many personal issues that will never be resolved, and I feel like I am being pushed into that now as well. Since our engangment in May, she has been trying anything and everything to make our relationship struggle. She took it as far and having her sons lie to the police saying that I punched the youngest son. I was arrested and released but not without a harrassment charge and a plea deal with DA diversion options. I obviously did not do what they told, as I love those boys as if they were my own, but I did opt for the plea deal with DA diversion. I am now in my probabtionary period where I have to do community service and take a parenting class, and can only have superivised visitation by a 3rd party (fiance is not acceptable by courts). This probationary period will last for 6 months from date of last court date.
Since then the 6 year old has started 1st grade and from what I could tell the 4 year-old was not attending preschool, like we thought he should have been. The communication between my fiance and bio mom is very minimal and if we try to ask the son about school he avoids it and changes the subject. I emailed the preschool teacher and she informs me that he is going to preschool but I am unable to participate in school activites, per the bio moms request. I am sure this is legit, but since my fiance and bio mom have joint custody shouldn't he also have a say in this??
Also what are my rights as a step mother? Can I attended events such as the Christmas program, or conferences??
The boys have never said anything to us about "me punching him", but they are very careful as to what they say to their father and I about school and their time with their mother. We don't push for information, we just ask how school is, what they are learning and what they have done over the week, but they almost always change the subject or say I don't know.
any help or suggestions for books and other related material would be great!