A Feeling Of Resentment Towards Step Children

In order to understand this story you may have to read my first story "help the bio is making this difficult for me to be involved in anything".

I know I shouldn't be angry with them or have a feeling of resentment towards them but I do. I have done nothing but care for them the last 3 years, and for them to turn their back on me even though they only 4 and 6 to get me in trouble for something I would never do, hurts me.

The last few weekends that I have been able to see them is very hard for me not to get mad at them for what they said because of what we are going through.

I know that it was their own mother who put them up to this because she currently despises me (sometime she is great with me, it just depends on her moods and if it benefits her), but I still feel like if they wouldn't have gone along with it we wouldn't be in the complicated sitation we are in now. 

Another thing that is hard for me is disciplining them...I have to watch every move I make and be careful not to do anything that they might not like because they may turn it into something completely different.  I feel like even telling them NO, or raising my voice a little could get me in trouble.  I know I should back off and let their dad (my fiance) do the discplining, but then they wold run our house and I am NOT ok with that especially because I don't want my (almost) 2 year old daughters to think that is ok.  I want them to follow rules and if they don't then they will get punished for it.  My fiance is a push over and doesn't follow through at all and he as always been like that. How Do I help him change that so the children actually listen to him, and how do I tell him?

During the next 6 months we also have to have someone stay with us to be my "supervisor".  Usually my fiances mother stays with us and thats great, but she has very differnent views on how I should raise my children/step children.  Its very hard for me to want to tell her how I am going to do it, especially since she is helping us out tremendously!  She expects me to treat my step children the same way I treat my (almost) 2 year old daughters.  I will try, but there is an age difference there, my daughters are (did I mention, are almost) 2 years old. They don't always understand everything what the boys (4.5 and 6.5) should understand. How do I tell her in a polite way, that I will raise my children how I see fit, and try to be as fair as I can to all children according to their ages?!?

So many questions that I just don't know where to start.  Somedays I think I should just part ways with him, but then I don't want my daughters to go through the same situation that their half brothers are going through.  I'm not saying I don't love my fiance or his children because I do love them, but sometimes I just wish I could take the easy way out, especially on days that are hard!!
Countrymomma24 Countrymomma24
31-35, F
1 Response Oct 26, 2012

I know exactly how you feel. My fiancée and I don't share any kids together but he has a daughter with his ex wife and I have a son from a past relationship. And I feel no matter how much I do, no matter how hard I try it's never good enough. Like you, his ex and I have an up an down relationship ( depends on her mood or how it benefits her) and I pride my self on being the better person. And I find myself resenting my step daughter (I love her to death) and I'm starting to resent my fiancée and I don't know what to do to fix it.