Teenage Stepson Sent To Live With Us - Help!
My husband has a 17-year-old son from a previous relationship. We've been together since his son was 2 years old, and he has lived with his mother with the usual visitation with us (every other weekend, holidays, etc.) We have tried to get custody of him on a few different occasions. Stepson's mother got a divorce a couple years ago and moved in with her boyfriend. Ever since then, she stopped being a mom - didn't go to conferences, his baseball or football games, etc. and stepson started to get in trouble, bad grades, skipping school, smoking pot, etc. He had a party last March when his mom was out of town and I'm not sure of the exact details, but guess what, he was sent to live with us! She said we had more of a family structure at our house, and of course my husband wouldn't say no to having his own son live here. We have two children together, ages 9 and 14. It has been a huge adjustment for all of us, and very very difficult for me. Stepson still has so much respect and love for his mother, but I feel like I don't matter to him, and I know I can thank his mom for that. She is very jealous and insecure, has always filled his head with things about me. He does like me, but I just don't get the respect that a parent should. He will be graduating from high school in June, and he has no motivation to apply for colleges or to find a job - he was working for a while but was fired. My husband bought him a cheap used car, and we're paying for his insurance - he's supposed to pay half, but of course has no job now! I think my husband is being way too easy on him and needs to sit down and talk to him about college, getting a job, etc. Stepson spends all his free time with his 16-year-old girlfriend. I feel like our marriage has really been suffering since he came to live with us, and I'm really scared. I never was asked how I felt about stepson living with us. I was thinking I should just concentrate on my own two kids and let my husband deal with his son - whenever I try to talk to him about it, he gets defensive and then we fight. I'm about ready to move out! Help! Also, stepson lied to us a few weeks ago about something pretty major, and he is a pretty much a pathological liar - something he learned from his mother.