Was Raised to Be

My mother is a very strong and independent woman... so she raised her daughters to be so too. We had no choice or say in the matter. =p

My mother asks a lot a questions in her lifetime, so it was of a small wonder that I was born very quizzical myself. Though, I drove my parents crazy with my questions every five minutes. I was six years old and would ask them hard scientific questions often. They were: "Why is the sky blue?", "What are clouds made of?", "How do clouds, birds, and planes stay in the sky?", "What is a rainbow made of?", "How come rain creates a rainbow?", "Where does God live?", "If God lives in the clouds, how come I can't see Him?"....on and on.

So, my first lesson of being independent was when my parents spent a lot of money on books that explained just that! They gave them to me and ran away! lol. I was left alone to find my own answers and figure out things for myself. So, no help from parents in learning science or anything tough. :-/

At age 6, things with my birth-father got tougher. My mother had to spend most of her time on keeping him calm, so he wouldn't break out windows and try to kill her. So, she didn't have time to wash out clothes for school anymore. So, at age 7 (my sister was 5), she taught us both how to use the washer. And we didn't have a dryer, so she taught us both how to hang the clothes on line outside. It was my job to wake up early and gather the clothes in the morning, when they were dry. She also couldn't wake us in the mornings anymore, so she bought us an alarm clock. We learned to set it and to wake up on our own.

She also bought cereal, so we could make our own breakfast. I didn't want cereal, so that started the trend of me not eating breakfast in the mornings. =p

My father did take us to grade school, for a price. My mother had to pay him to walk us back and forth, because we were too little to do so on our own. BUT, by the time I was 10 years old and in Junior High, it was my job to walk my sister to grade school and then walk a few neighborhoods away to my school. My father was angry at this change, as it meant that he would no longer get paid. He tried to convince my mother that I was retarded and would screw up the job. But my mother had faith in me. :-)

I never did anything bad in school, because that would mean detention! And that would mean that my little sister would be left outside of her school, alone and waiting for me. So, I kept my nose clean and left school on time, so I could always be there to pick up my little sister and walk us home. :-D

I never screwed it up! And I did an excellent job! :-)

So, I have a hard time sometimes, asking for help. I am quite independent. But I must learn that asking for help isn't a weakness, it's a strength, in most cases. :-D

Thanks for reading this very LONG story! =p

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3 Responses Jan 5, 2009

There is never anything wrong in asking for help. It is the wise, who do this. So take heart.<br />
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That begs another question: in Biblical sayings: "Honor thy father and mother". How nice. Whatever happened to the "flip-side" of the coin: "Honor thy chlldren"? I have pondered this question, many times ---- both through verbal and physical abuse.<br />
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Best of luck to you.

I am glad that you learned to be independent but please know YOU HAD TERRIBLE PARENTS!!!!!! your mother should have gotten you away from your father but she didn't. The fact that you and your sister were able to survive is a testament to your strength and fortitude.

I suck at asking for help to. I'd rather figure things out on my own or just learn to do without. It's kinda sad some times lol. I'll learn to ask for help one of these days. Hopefully before I'm hanging off a cliff or something =P