Submissive Husband

I've been married to my husband for about three years now, he's been submissive all his life and three years ago I was introduced to his world.  He thinks I can be a great dom, I've tried a few things that I've read online and they worked for a few weeks, but it always fades away and we stop doing things for a while.  We've tried spanking, some strap-on, doing chores as punishments, and for awards I let him satisfy me.  It's never complete, its never satisfying! I like vanilla sex life but he is submissive.  He never follows what I order him to do for long, even when I punish him, it only lasts for a few days max and then he would go back to the way he was.


I dunno what to do, are there any other punishments that I can use on him to make him commit to me and do everything I want! ... I dont like harsh and painful punishments.


pinkdom pinkdom
26-30, F
8 Responses Dec 15, 2009

make him lick your stinky feet

I happen to agree with so many your comments supporting chastity for your husband, locked is what I prefer. Sissy training would probably provide further reinforcement, however your needs and interests should decide that. perhaps this is "over the top", but cuckolding may be a wise and beneficial solution for you as a couple. Enjoy your vanilla love-making with your lover. But locked chastity will certainly increase your husband's attentiveness and obedience for romance and for caring for you. Just a thought for consideration.

Do some research and buy a chastity cage for for him - I prefer the Curve because I find it easy to keep clean without having to take it off. Have a "special" evening for him because after that you will be the one who decides when his next ****** will be - he will no longer be in control. And be tough because he will probably try mind games with you - but the pay-off will be worth it if you stay in charge. Buy him some panties that he will have to wear to work every day as a reminder that you're in charge. Also make the investment and buy him some frilly sissy panties, bras, a dress or two and some high heel shoes. Make it a rule that when he's at home he is expected to dress as a Sissy-Gurl and thank you for the privilege of serving you. If you go out and he's at home give him a list of housework that you expect to be done by the time you get back. If he starts getting "macho" tell him to look in the mirror and see if he sees a man or a Sissy-Gurl. It's tough to act macho when you're dressed as a Sissy-Gurl. <br />
It takes work and commitment, especially at first, if you're going to train your husband to be submissive. It's best if it's 24/7 than if it's an "off and on" sort of thing. And don't be afraid to paddle him hard if he starts to get out of line. Nip it in the bud and he'll quickly realize that you are in charge and you mean what you say.<br />
Hope this helps.

Locking him up 24/7 is a very good start. Let him out every couple weeks or so - only if he has shown good behavior. Lengthen the lockup time if he displeases you or whines. Make sure he puts your pleasure first. Dressing him up like a sissy and making him wear sissy panties all the time is something you can add to locking him up. Just remind him when he starts getting uppity that he's a sissy-gurl not a real man - after all, what would his friends say if you made him show them his panties. Mind games are very powerful.

If you prefer vanilla sex, then you must insist on it, if you are to get anywhere as the one in charge. It's not important if he's immediately turned on by it or not. As the Top, your needs come first. He needs to understand that that he's not going to get his fantasies until you are comfortably satisfied. It helps if you can talk about what he wants during the period that you are denying him. But you will have to keep your resolve. Chores should not be handled as punishment, in this phase, but as pre conditions. If you were to pick three chores, for instance, don't pick the three that you think he would most like or dislike, pick the three that would make your life the easiest and most convenient. What is the point of having a sub if he's not busy serving you? <br />
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Don't let him top from the bottom. The attitude you might take is that , if he is really submissive, there is no reason why his focus shouldn't be on your complete satisfaction, whether that is in the way your house is kept, the way he dresses, his manners, his friends, how respectful he is to your mother, or what have you. If you can learn to flex your ***** muscles, and require him to respond with tender,vanilla love, I think you will find yourself satisfied with how things progress.

I am a submissive husband , I too find that chastity works very well although I do not wear a chastity device, my wife only permits me to *** once every 6 weeks & then only when I have to begged & pleaded with her for at least a week . Often I am made to stand in front of her dressed in bra (including false boobs) & panties & told that I may **********

i agree that chastity should focus his mind `giggle`

I am a sub hubby and your story is quite common. Your husband is "topping from the bottom". My wife figured this out and used the following formula. It has worked for us. First she locked me up in a chastity cage. She lets me out onlty when supervised. ************ (all men do it - submissive men most of all) will kill a relationship. Second, she uses a riding crop on my *** (sometimes a hairbrush) when I misbehave. This is very effective. Third, she rewards me with sex (mostly giving oral to her). If your husband is truly submissive he will submit to this. <br />
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My wife kicked things off by dressing me in a bra, stockings and panties and then laying down the new rules. She got get me to agree to things (in writing) by playing with me. A man will agree to anything when aroused and vulnerable (dressed in panties in front of his wife). We have weekly talks like this and ALWAYS fisnish it off by me "french kissing: her *** as a sign of ultmate submission. This has worked for us for 10 years.