My Dom And I Fell In Love.I suspected I was a submissive for years before I found the courage to explore power exchange with a dominant. I met Henry three months ago. He is a kind, soft spoken, piercingly intelligent man. I worried before our first experience that he might be too sweet and gentle to dominate me, but I was so happily mistaken. Our first play session was electric. Five hours of bondage, spanking, whipping and incredible sex. I'd never felt so aroused or so free and wholly myself. The sensation of letting go and completely surrendering control was something I'd craved for so long. I was astonished that the experience matched my fantasies instead of falling short. At the end of our play, the only time that the intensity of his whipping approached my limit, I was on the verge of using our safe word, but suddenly he stopped, and kissed me for the first time. Two nights later he invited me to dinner, and that evening our sex was tender, somewhere outside of the dom/sub context. That may have been the only time we've had purely vanilla sex.
I was hesitant at first to begin a romantic relationship with Henry, for several reasons. Most obviously, I'm new to BDSM, though I'm well-read and not naive. Henry is a very experienced and talented dom - confident, sexy, and full of integrity. His life is complicated right now: he's going through a divorce after nine years, and his ex and he are still struggling to agree on fair shared custody of their five-year-old daughter. I'm a few years younger than Henry, had never wanted children and have generally thought that marriage is not for me. I've also recently gone back to school, working toward a masters degree. Being fully aware of each of our daunting responsibilities, we were still so drawn to each other. We began dating. We agreed that our role play would be mostly in the bedroom, with a little bit sprinkled into the rest of our interactions for fun. 24/7 power exchange holds no real appeal for me, and he stated a clear disinterest as well. So, we're kinky in the bedroom, and from time to time in some of our other interactions.
Several weeks into our relationship he introduced me to his daughter. She is the most wonderful child - bright, incisive, creative, compassionate, incredibly precocious, absolutely beautiful and so dear. Even during the difficult transition she's experiencing with her parents' divorce, she is strong and sure of her place in the world. She took to me almost instantly. Knowing her has completely enriched my life. There is nothing better than watching her and Henry together.
After an idyllic beginning, our romance has settled into something that appears outwardly very normal. We love each other. We make each other laugh. We have a very balanced, egalitarian relationship. Sexually, we've continued to explore and push my limits further. The dom/sub dynamic is ridiculously hot, and evidently we've barely gotten started. Henry is secretive about "the things we haven't done yet," and I enjoy the anticipation.
Exploring this new territory is very exciting for me. I struggle sometimes with understanding my boundaries. When we have conflict, at times I tend to lapse into a submissive position, waiting for his indication of how we should proceed. This never works, and can be terribly frustrating. I want to better understand how to balance this relationship that we believe in, and that we both want to last, with the power dynamic component that I'm so new to. I wasn't expecting to fall in love. Neither of us were. And it does make the play even better. But it also means that there is more at stake. Time will tell.