Can't Help Getting Emotionally Attached...

I decided to explore submission and joined a BDSM site. Within a month I met a few dominants who expressed interest but there was no chemistry. I was starting to think the site was just full of horny flakes posing as dominants. Then I met C for drinks after work. As he walked up to greet me, I certainly felt the attraction. We had a few drinks and conversation flowed. We definitely connected and began seeing each other. We texted throughout the days and would see each other about twice a month. The first time we played was the most intense experience I have ever had. I have been craving more ever since.

He does not live close and his schedule is not flexible at all so we see each other for short periods on average about twice a month. I have found that in being submissive to him, I have fallen for him. But I am left aching for more than being an occasional play partner. I want the normal looking relationship on the outside while being his submissive in private. We both discussed our wants before play ever started and we found that we were on the same page with all our wants and desires from this type of relationship, including eventually being a couple. The thing is that I am wanting it to progress to that of being a couple now but I am not getting any feedback from him as to his thoughts much less his actions to make this happen. I fear that I am not much more than an occasional play partner which is what I did not want to be - because if he wanted it too, he would make it happen, right?

I want all that there is to experience being submissive and I want it with this man. I am emotionally attached and I cannot fathom being involved in this type of relationship without being attached - that, to me, is where trust and comfort is developed which leads to better experiences. But I am apprehensive about talking about this with him because I don't know what his reaction will be and deep down, I have to admit that I am fearful of rejection. I am falling for him, I want more with him, and I want him to reciprocate but I am very afraid it will not happen.

I am sure I am not the only one who has ever felt this for her Dom. But I don't know of anyone in this lifestyle to talk about things with like you would discuss other things with friends


Cdygrl Cdygrl
36-40, F
1 Response Sep 14, 2012

I am in the same boat. I own a business and never can get off work, so my schedule is not flexible and we hardly ever see each other. In just a few short months i have found myself attached to Him. Although He doesnt really express His feelings. He told me He doesnt get attached easily, but i am smitten. Not a minute goes by that i dont think about Him.

I think of C all the time too. At times I think I need to walk away because I'm not getting fully satisfied as in not seeing him as much as I'd like and because this is not progressing other than to tell me that I'm his #1 girl and others we play with are for fun only. That's great and all but I'm falling for him and want the couple status that I know others have.

Hope it helps to know you are not alone in how you feel about your Dom.