My Story, So Far...

I hope this is a place where I can share my story, and hear about other women that live a similar life as I do. I am afraid this will be long. I am sorry. There is just no way to tell my story without some background. I live as a completly submitted wife, and I am wondering if my story will help or encourage others that may be looking for the peace and contentment I have in my life. I have wanted to have time to reach out for a while, but only recently are my children of an age where I can find time. I was your typical all American girl growing up. I had a wonderful childhood, a loving family, and many friends. My parents were comfortably well off, and I really wanted for nothing. I was spoiled, a little I think, and I know I was certainly loved. I married my husband when I was 20 and he was 35. I have known him my whole life, as I grew up across the street from him and our parents were friends. When I was a young teen (13-14) I had a huge crush on him, even though he was so much older. Or maybe because of it! He was always nice to me, in a "cute little sister" kind of way. He was a professional athlete, he had many women in his life, but he never married. By the time I was 17 and a senior in high school I had more or less forgotten my crush. I had boyfriends (although I stayed a virgin until I married, thanks in large part to very strict, vigilant parents :) ) and was pretty popular, I guess. I just had my own stuff going on. I was looking forward to college, and a new life. And then my dad had a heart attack and died, and I felt as if my whole world collapsed. I was always "daddy's little girl", and I missed him so much. My mom was great, and I always had a good relationship with her, but there is something special about a healthy, daddy-daughter relationship. I always say that my dad was my first love, and I mean that. I learned how men should treat me from how my daddy first treated me--but I mean that only in the most innocent, sweet way. (Sickos be GONE!) My dad left life insurance, and financially we were okay. Not like when my dad was alive, but okay. I told my mom I would skip the fancy college and apply at the state school, and if I worked we should make it. Barely, but still. The summer I graduated, only months after my 18th birthday and my dad's passing, I was feeling sad, lost, and alone. I know my mom was, too. Enter my White Knight. The man that would become my Husband came to my father's funeral, hugged my mom and I, stayed for a week at his parents and had several long talks during that week with my mom. He helped her structure the finances for her, as he was then a financial advisor, earning his MBA while playing pro ball. My Knight had always been close to my dad--my dad coached him as a kid, and so it seemed natural to have him there. He began coming to visit more often, mowing the lawn, taking care of maintenance things, taking my mom and I out for ice cream or to a movie. At one point I wondered if he and my mom would get together, even though I had seen nothing inappropriate, but the thought made me feel confused and sad. Kinda funny now, when I think about it. What I didn't know is that my Knight was discussing *my* future with my mom. He was laying the groundwork to take me as his wife, and one evening, after a the usual Sunday barbque and swim at his home, Mom sat me down and asked how I felt about Knight. I was embarrased, but I stammered out that I liked and admired him very much, that he reminded me of daddy in many ways, and I respected him and was grateful for his kindness to my mom and me. I actually asked my mom if she was going to start dating him. She laughed, and said there was only ever one man for her, but that if I wished, Knight and I would begin to date, with the goal of eventual marriage. As for school, Knight would make a no interest loan to my mom for the private college, and that the loan would be forgiven if I agreed to marry Knight. If I chose not to marry him, the loan would transfer to me after graduation and I would be given ample time to repay at no interest. I can still remember how excited I was by the idea of "grown-up" dating "my" Knight! I can still feel our first kiss, and the butterflies it gave me. How silly it sounds, but after our good night kisses I didn't want to wash my face! Silly. I always knew there was something different about him, I just didn't know quite how different. As we continued to date and I finished up my freshman year of college, we began to speak in earnest of our future. One of the things I remember best, and one of the things for which I most admire him for, is how honest he was with me about what life with him would be like. He had a lot of self-awareness, and he was brutally honest about his own strengths and weaknesses. So different from my girlfriends immature boyfriends. He explained how he would expect me to live in submission to him after marriage, and what that would mean. Gently, he explained how I would be expected to behave and how it would encompass everything from how I was to dress, to how I would greet him, to how I would be impregnated. I would experience regular corporal punishment, not only just for discipline, but also because he would spank me simply enjoys the sight of a "well-spanked, well-rounded, well-reddened, feminine rump". (I still remember the exact words.) He expained that his sexual tastes, while he would give his word that they would be strictly monogomous, were varied, his sexual urges were strong, and he expected his wife to be available to him without hesitation. I would live liked a well-loved, much cared-for, "****-socket". (His words.) I would never be treated as an equal, but as a far superior submissive wife. As he spoke, I couldn't even look at him. My cheeks burned. I was humiliated by his words, but more so by my response to them. When he finished speaking, he asked me to look at him and tell him what I was thinking. (Another thing I adore about him is the earnestness of which he will ask me what I am thinking and feeling, like he really truly cares--even if he is angry at me.) And I couldn't meet his gaze. I just couldn't. Finally, he took my chin in his strong, capable hands that I have come to love so much, and made me look at him. And I said, "My panties are wet, sir, and I am not sure what to do about it." (Much later he would show me exactly what was to be done about my wet panties.) To this DAY I don't know what made me confess that to him. I was still a virgin, so it is not like we had those types of conversations. And he had never asked to be called "sir". In fact, I don't call him that now. Maybe some instinct? Some primal response, like the wet panties? He claims he knew I was submissive from that first summer. I always protested that statement. I was good at sports, and very intelligent. I was well-liked and funny. I never felt "submissive". He says submissiveness isn't about low self esteem, it is a need, like his need to be dominant. When I argued about his statement too much he always says, "Did you, or did you not become aroused to the point of soaking your panties, as I explained my requirements for you?" Yeah. I guess he has got me there. It is true that I am a natural born pleaser and nurturer. I want people to be happy. Many years, and 5 children (4 boys and finally my little girl!) later, I am so grateful for my life. I have indeed lived as a well-loved, much-cared for, ****-socket. My White Knight has become my Master, and I am his willing slave. He is not perfect; he has his moods, and his temper can be fierce and swift, but I have never been disciplined in anger. He has provided for me and his children, sheltered us, and kept my mom comfortable as well. He is, however, not my lord. Ony the Lord God is Lord. Only God and His Son are perfect. My Husband is my Master. I used to think of him as my knight is shining armor, now he is my king. I am not shared, nor will I ever be. I can't even begin to imagine the punishment for cheating... nor do I even want to. I wear a collar and bracelet, 24/7. I have several, all very beautiful, very elegant, but still slave collars and bracelets, nonetheless. I finished college, summa *** laude. I have never worked outside the home a day in my life. I admire so very much the women that do; what a very hard thing that must be. I don't know how they do it! I volunteer at church and in the community to try to give back a tiny bit of what I have. My husband's sexual tastes are indeed varied. He did not lie. Fortunately (or sometimes not) all his tastes begin and end in me. Literally. :) My husband told me he would give me sons until it pleased him to give me a daughter. He was true to his word. All of my children were born in the same month, exactly two years apart. I spent well over a decade pregnant and nursing, beginning within months of my graduation. He told me to how long to nurse the children, he found my OB/GYN and midwives, and he devised my birthing plans. I am bound to Master's 4 poster bed every night, beginning with the very first night of our honeymoon. If I need to get up I must ask permission. I do not speak to him unless spoken to, unless given permission to speak freely. Meal times with the children, and church attendance, are times when I am allowed to speak freely. In private I keep quiet unless told to speak. He dislikes "chattering". I am spanked for pouting, speaking out of turn, or being unkind (to anyone). Forgetting to do things I have been told, calling him at work unneccessarily, feeding the children too much junk, etc., all are spankable offenses. Most discipline is of a spanking kind. He has several paddles he uses. He also spanks me because "he can". I have a posture I have to maintain when I am spanked. I am caned for spending money beyond my (generous) allowance, or lying. Caning is very, very painful. I have only been caned a handful of times. He gags me when I am caned, because the screaming would be too loud, otherwise. Disciplining me gives him an erection. I guess that makes him a bit of a sadist. But then, maybe it is just the sight of my nakedness, spread before him, because he has an erection from just seeing me naked, too, so it's never been like he "needs" that, you know what I mean? When Master built his home for me to come live in, he soundproofed the Master bedroom and study. If that gives you some idea. while I find this life fulfilling, exciting, and wonderful, it is also challenging. Master is not always easy to live with, and can be somewhat cruel if pushed far enough. At his worst, his wonderful self-confidence can become unbearable arrogance. Pushing him too far is not a mistake I make often though, trust me! He has never been cruel or unkind to his children. They adore him. He is their hero. As he is mine. The toughest part of this life is probably the self-discipline that he demands of me. He requires, among other things, that I keep a very neat, clean well-organized home, and that I be ready to receive him home each evening, unharried. Even with household help, that is not easy with 5 active children. If, for example, a screwdriver is not in the drawer where it belongs he may (and probably will) spank me for that. Another hard part is how sexually aroused I always am. I am not just saying that to get a reaction--so please, don't email me, pervs. I am being truthful. I know one of Master's primary goals was to have me always ready to receive him, indeed my primary purpose is to provide him with sexual release, but I wonder if other submissive women are like this? I know this was long, and I am sorry. It has just all been insdie me for a long time, and wondering if anyone else would be interested or helped by my little story. Any questions or comments, please feel free to ask. Just be kind, please, I am new at this. :)
His1 His1
4 Responses May 23, 2012

Good luck to you, Mr. Tempolton. I respect any man that is willing to be as committed to his woman as dominance requires. It is a two way street in so many ways.

DEAR girl, you are a delight and although my tastes are somewhat different I to will be requiring a simmer LEVEL of commitment...from whoever I end up with.... I will accept nothing less.

I'm speechless! This is a level of submission, I would never be able to live. Did you willingly embrace and accept all of the involved measures? Do you keep certain things from your children, like being bound to the bed every night? Won't they find out at a certain stage and ask questions? To become a slave and be collared 24/7 is definitely the ultimate step in submission. Does your Mum know about your lifestyle? There are so many questions going through my head... I hope your constant sexual arousal is an indicator that you thoroughly enjoy your chosen life with your Master. Good luck!

Hi IQ! :) Let's see: do I *willingly* embrace and accept all measures? Some of them are harder than others, and I don't always succeed, and that's okay. Just as he is not always a wonderful master (as is his oft stated goal), I am not always the most loving submissive. We get cross threaded like all couples do, but unlike many couples I think what mostly makes us different is that we are truly committed to working thorough it. I am not allowed to hide from him, and the nakedness, the collar, the submission and all that it entails, are only reinforcements to that.

Keeping it from the children: My husband designed this house and had it built with this life in mind. Our children occupy an entire upstairs "wing"--guest rooms, baths, and our household help are the only other rooms up there. The children are not allowed in the master bedroom or master's study. They have been raised to respect our space, and it has not been an issue. If the children are sick in the night or otherwise need me, we have an intercom the children's nanny can call us on. (But when they are infants they slept in a crib in our room, in a niche designed just for that purpose, where I now have a lovely chair for reading, writing and pondering the universe. :) ) The binding to the bed is usually just my wrist and ankle, plenty of slack so I can turn and move, and he always gets up early, showers, dresses, brings me a cup of coffee and my vitamins and releases me. I didn't mean to give the impression I am hogtied in bed every night! He may do that, but not all night! ;0

Kids: I can't foresee the future, so I don't know what kind of questions they may ask. They are not exposed to any aspects of my discipline or our sex life, and hopefully all they will know is that they are very much loved, very much wanted, and wonderfully cared for and protected by their father.

And as far as the slave thing goes, yes, I am his slave, but also, I have much more input into things than I think is typical of many slaves. It is a difficult thing to define, and for me this only works because I am loved and deeply cared for. What woman doesn't long to have her man ask what is on her heart? Isn't that really what we as women most want? To be truly seen, and truly appreciated?

Does my mum know? (You are British!) All of it? No. Does my mom know some of it? I think perhaps. One time in a fit of pregnancy induced insanity I took my children and "ran away" to my mother's house. I was given decaf tea and sympathy while I railed against my husband's "insensitivity and selfish arrogance." (In reality, I was as "wrong" as he was, and, in typical fashion, he accepted full responsibilty for the fact that I felt neglected and abandoned--that's what I mean about how this Master/slave arrangement is all about relationship--and how I believe a true master is deepy tuned into his submissive's feelings and not the least bit afraid to lead by example. I.e.," I am sorry you hurt, that you have feelings I can not begin to understand. Your heart is a mystery to me in many ways. You are complex and a little scary. I am in awe of your beauty and your power. Now get on your knees and suck my c0ck.") Anyway, my mother dried my tears and made me laugh and said, "Now, let's call your husband and get you home before we BOTH get spanked."

So I think she knows something.

Yeah, well, the constant arousal thing. I just always want him. Not anyone else. Just him.

Thank you for your good wishes.

Glad to hear that you are happy with being his slave.
I suppose you were young and he trained you exactly the way he wanted you, and as you said, you were obviously aware of what your life would be like. So good luck and all the best for your future!

um, are you ok with how he treats you. Seems like you are, but at times he seems really harsh. You don't need to live that way if you don't want to,but if you do I am glad you found someone. I wonder if him paying for college was a way to force you to marry him? I know you had a choice, but money is powerful and can make people do things they wouldn't normally do. I hope all is well and that this is what you truly want.

My dear friend--at times it is harsh; being caned in particular is horrible, but such is my life. And it is not as if the punishments are unavoidable--it is not as if I am left unaware of the rules and parameters of my behavior. And as well, this is the life I chose, being fully informed of how it would be. I am a pretty woman, and I could have picked someone else, some other way of life, but I chose him to rule over me. Do you think not speaking until I am spoken to is harsh? But, he speaks to me all the time! ;0 If not, I know he is tired, or has some business problem he is mulling over, or just in a very bad mood. Probably, then, he will paddle me for his own amusement and release before the night is through, and the smartest thing I can do in those times is be quiet and respectful. But, before you judge my life in toto, you may wish to read my response to IQplusfun's comments. I regret if I gave the impression that my life was one dimensionally awful. Please forgive me for that. Oh, SSSS, I was never forced to marry him--the loan would have had far better terms than any I could have gotten elsewhere, and I if I decided not to marry him I would have simply repaid it as so many of my fellow students had to after graduation.

The truth is that I felt honored to be chosen by him and I still feel honored. (almost always--lol) I thank you, though, for yor concern and good wishes.

thats good to hear. I just wanted to make sure. I'm thoroughly happy that you have found what makes you happy, but not everyone gets to make that choice. Enjoy :-)