I Am A New Submissive Wife

I am just starting out on my new life as being submissive to my husband. I have bickered and argued with my husband for all 8 years of our marriage. On numerous times I have been ready to quit the marriage. Our problem has been that we are both head strong, independent people, both battling to be 'boss'.
By accident I stumbled across submission on the Internet and was immediately captivated and excited with this life style choice. I could see that this was the answer to our problems. The more articles I read - the more sure I was that I want to be submissive to my husband. so...I have started on my journey, trying to be a perfect wife to my lovely husband. I have slipped up a couple of times already, forgetting myself and starting to nag and complain at my poor husband.
I have not really had a discussion about this subject with him. Although, I have told him that I have decided to surrender to him, stop nagging at him and that from now on if we can't agree on something then the final decision will be his. Also told him that I am not going to deny him sex again...at all...and that from now on I am his whenever he wants me.
I am not really sure how he feels about this change in me except that he did ask me ' what have you been smoking ? ' haha !
He has carried on as normal whilst I am now trying to be his perfect woman. I know it is early days but I have already seen a change in him - he seems more loving towards me :-)
So if any like minded wives out there could give me any tips, guidance etc i would be really really grateful . Is it ok for me to want to be submissive to my husband when he seems indifferent about it all - will it still work or does he have to be 'playing along' so to speak ?
Hav1 Hav1
46-50, F
6 Responses Jan 22, 2013

Congratulations on your new beginning! I have seen changes like this do wonders for marriages. Repeating what has already been said, communication and patience will go a long way in helping things develop successfully. I think bringing a D/s dynamic into a marriage can sometimes be like turning a big ship. A big ship doesn’t turn on a dime. Hopefully with time and effort things will work out great.
His indifference might change. I think it would be best if it did. I believe that submission takes its form largely from the desires and needs of the one to whom it is given. It’s kind of difficult to submit to someone who isn’t requiring anything or desiring to lead. So, his engagement is very important. I have seen it take time for the engagement to grow, so don’t be surprised if that happens. Once he finds his groove though, hold on!
With all that said, there’s no reason why you can’t pay attention and respond to everything that he asks for submissively and end all contention if there is any. Also, when something comes up and you feel in your heart that it is an area that you want to submit to him, let him know sweetly. As he sees the fruit of your new behavior, I believe he will become more and more engaged.
Try to communicate as much as you can what you would like and work for the happiness of both of you. I wish you all the best!

Hi. Thank you for your reply. I am under no doubt now that he knows exactly what it is I want.If you have had a look at my other posts you will see why. I sent him the link to the taken in hand site yesterday too. He says he has looked at it briefly and that we can look at it this weekend. He has also started getting a bit bossy with me which is good :-) he swatted my bottom last night too when we were out walking the dog...so hopefully all good signs that he is getting into it !!

Hope things continue to go well for you. :)

you hubbys a lucky man :) you got any sisters ??lol could u pleasee add me ?

Thanks....I hope he thinks the same. Sorry but I do not have any sisters lol !

I do want him to take the lead sexually but my main desire is to be a good and submissive wife to him in every respect, through daily life.

Thanks Michelle. I agree that it must surely make a marriage better, I think I have been awful to him and quite honestly I think he deserves a medal for not getting rid of me years ago. If I don't nag and constantly go on at him I will feel better in myself as I will not be filled with anger, rage and negative thoughts and feelings. And he will surely feel more at peace.

Thank you both for your replies...they mean a lot to me. M2swife - why is it better if he isn't playing along?it leaves my worrying that he thinks his wife has become some sort of kinky freak or religious nut . Would you please explain why you think that as I really want to try and understand. Also, I have asked him many times what his fantasies are and what I can do for him but I don't think he really tells me as nothing very adventurous ever comes out ?

what i mean is that its not play... its the real deal... lol. so he may not be as kinky as you are.... and maybe he just isn't open about it. but you should know what he likes sexually..... give him lots of it. lol. then expand on it. let him know you're ready willing and able to explore some kinky sex stuff and more. but it has to be in his comfort zone. one way to start is sharing with him any mild fantazies you have, like being tied up, or spanked, or made to kneel naked in front of him as you give him oral sex. small steps my dear small steps...... i wouldn't be direct with him about what you're doing, just expand on his sexual appetite.

it is better if he isn't just "playing along". just keep doing what you're doing, pay attention to what he likes and give that to him. as for adding some sexual adventure.... ask him what his fantasies are, what he'd like to do with his wife, and start giving him what he wants..... thats h ow you serve him....