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I Lost My Husband to Suicide

On May 29, 2007 , my husband of 9 years chose to end his life. It was not the first time he tried, but this time he made sure that it worked. He had been diagnosed with depression and had been on medication for 5 years (a condition that I had insisted on after his first attempt in order for us to stay together). I really felt that he was bi-polar, but he had never been diagnosed. He had quit taking his medication one month prior to his death and had seemed to be doing just fine. That all changed in a matter of hours. What started out as a fun, memorial day family outing ended in his death.
kgj1970 kgj1970 36-40 6 Responses Jan 25, 2008

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I know there have been times when I wished I didn't need to rely on daily medication, that I could just "man-up" or "tough it out". Much easier said than done. Having been on the other side of this, I know that depression interferes with perception and judgement. From my perspective, stopping medication is comparable to not wearing a seat belt. We don't expect to be involved in a serious collision, but if we see we're about to hit something, there won't be time to fasten it.

Similar to my sister. She had many suicide attempts over many years, usually by drug overdose. She had major depression and occasionally had these moments and would be suicidal then. She was on medication for depression and other conditions. The last time, she took a massive overdose, a lot of whole bottles of medicine.

My husband killed himself as well. He would not maintain compliance with medication and therapy, and after trying to do so for years, he succeeded in ending his own life. My life--and my children's--is much less chaotic now, and the aggression and violence are gone as well. Perhaps he is truly at peace now; the sad fact is that mental illness impacts many in addition to the person with the diagnosis.

I wish you the best.

My boyfriend of ten years killed himself two months ago we have four kids us it ever go to be better

That's such a sad story. I've always wanted to be psychiatrist and I have my own reservations about suicide cases because of how guilty I'll feel if one of my patients did kill themselves.

omg i am so sorry thats very sad