Pill Intake

I was on the phone trying to tell my ex-fiance I loved him and leaving was a mistake. My parents were telling me he was worthless.
I knew he wasn't. His friend (Another one of my ex boyfriends) Was telling him lies like all I wanted was the sex and that I didn't give a **** about him. Soon enough everything I'd kept locked in from childhood to that point got to me and the last song I played was Possibility by lykke li (Please listen to it when you get the chance if you've never heard of it.) I was crying and screaming into my ex-fiance's jacket when I decided to off it all. I locked myself in my room and started to take a hand full of Trazadone (A sleeping medicine in case some of you do not know) I went to sleep and somehow, I woke up to my heart beating faster than it ever had before, lights flashing around objects, faces like they were far away even if up close, the feeling of being detached from my own body, and extreme nausea with each movement. I began to panic and tried to call my step fathers name, but couldn't speak. there are parts I still do not remember, but I think Amber went with me to the hospital. The only persons in a rush were me and my two sisters. I threw up a lot and I believe that's what saved my life. I remember someone saying my pupils were extremely small as if they were about to disappear. Then next thing I remember is feeling cold, like I was standing in a freezer. My sisters were counting my pills saying I only had 18 left out of quantity of 30 then I said there was a second bottle. My mother wasn't listening and said I was faking. Yeah, right. I remember asking if my youngest sister (The one I never got along with) could stay with me and my mother said no I also asked for my phone so I could talk to my sister. She said no again. She barely looked at me and left me alone in the hospital. The nurses woke me repeatedly. And I went to a mental hospital. I barely even remember the first two days but I remember that during my stay my mother never called or anything. She relinquished rights to my father who talked to me and my case worker nearly every day. My sisters would cry when I called them and they were the only reason my father could reach me. My mother (Who never called, or visited because I was too far away) gave him the code number he needed to visit me. Only a few weeks after I got out of the hospital she was headed to Oklahoma to pick up her father a 16 hour drive versus a three hour one. She really cares right. To sum it up, I was soon dead to her and she still pretends (she's a terrible actor my dad says) to care. I am happy now to actually be with my family, and actually see how much they've changed into young adults as I have. I even get to see my cousin who now has a daughter and wonderful husband. (enter sarcasm here) Gee, thanks for cutting our lives off mom you're a great woman and EVERY ONE loves.
AthenaWilliams AthenaWilliams
18-21, F
1 Response May 21, 2012

I could never understand why someone would do that. There are so many options in life and glad you are still here...