"is Suicide Ever The Answer?"

I saw this question elsewhere on the site and felt compelled to share.

I know that to those who have not faced the dilemma of suicide may feel that there is no time when it is 'right'. I also understand the point of view of loved ones of people who are suicidal and I would never minimise their concern, fear and sense of hopelessness. Having said that, there are dimensions to suicidality that are very difficult to comprehend unless you've been there. Imagine being in such awful, agonising pain that every fraction of a second seems it will last an eternity. Imagine dreading the moment when you open your eyes in the morning because you know the torment will descend on you from your very first thought. Imagine living in a world so desolate, so unimaginably intolerable that the thought of living another day feels so far beyond your ability that it crushes your will and your last remains of hope. For people like that, the thought of living on becomes literally a 'life sentence'. That is what it's like inside a suicidal mind.

It always bothers me deeply to see people say things like suicide is 'the easy way out' or that it's 'cowardly' or 'selfish'. Those kind of words only reinforce to the person considering suicide that the pain they are in is of no concern to anyone else and that they as a human being are worthless. ...and trust me, there is nothing 'easy' about killing yourself.

Suicide is a tragedy. No matter which way you look at it, it means that the burden of pain outweighed the will to live and that is an intrinsically sad thing. It is far too easy to say that suicide is never the answer, because really, sometimes it really is the only way to stop the pain. In that though, there is another question that must be asked, and that is 'are we as a community doing enough to help suicidal people and their families and friends?' I don't think we are.

Yes, it is a battle I have fought my whole life, and one that I could not have survived if it weren't for the love and care of my friends and family. I want people to know that a suicidal person really DOES care, and that they are NOT being selfish. In fact, many suicidal people feel that their death is an act of compassion...so they will no longer be a burden.

What I want people to know is that living with depression is like being at war with yourself, and you need every possible resource and ally you can get to survive. What suicidal people need is patience, compassion, understanding and as much love as is humanly possible. They need to be told that no matter what, in whatever way they can exist, that they are wanted and that they are admired every time they manage to get themselves through another day. The same goes for those close to the suicidal person. That's what I have received, and that is why I'm still alive to tell my story.
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1 Response Jan 6, 2013

Thank you for helping me to understand a large segment of the population.

My mother was suicidal from depression until menopause when she said it lifted like a dark cloud. She never sought help and was never prescribed meds but in her youth she survived an OD of aspirin even though she believed her suicide would send her straight to hell.

My sister is depressed and suicidal but has been medicated for many years. She's never tried to kill herself as far as I know but she's been raped and had a series of narcissistic, abusive and at times sadistic boyfriends and a husband with Madonna–***** complex. At 55 she's ready to give up on men and substitute dog love.

I've had painful circumstances in my life where death seemed appealing in the moment but I've never taken the leap.

Your writing is exquisite BTW. Do you write professionally? If not, I believe you could. You've given me a profound appreciation for what can go on in the mind in your few paragraphs. For this I'm grateful.