I was young. I was pretty much through with all the things my mom kept pinning on me (I'll discuss that later) so I downed about 15 sleeping pills and went to bed. I remember waking up at about 11 PM and I could not breathe. I gasped and choked for air, I was able to breathe again after about 30 seconds. I rolled onto my back and it felt like I phased through the bed and onto the floor. I gasped again and I felt the solidity of my bed beneath me. I reached for the blankets and tried to pull them off but it felt like I grabbed paper, and then nothing at all. I looked at my hands and grabbed the sheets again, and I saw the sheets clutched tightly in my hands but felt nothing, so i pulled them off and rolled off the bed. I felt like kept phasing and falling through stuff, so I reached for a knob at the end of my bed and felt it wobble and felt my room flip. I struggled over to my desk and started having more hallucinations. I looked at the pill bottle and thought I saw dozens and dozens and dozens of tiny black specks chasing after me so I went back to my bed. Suddenly I couldn't breathe again and I thought I saw a face, opening and closing its mouth and turning around. I blinked and it was gone, and I think I made a lot of noise because my mom came into my room and started yelling at me to go to sleep and told me I was stupid for being awake at midnight, and she slammed the door shut. I fell asleep after that but at 12:30 ish I woke up again, but my hallucinations only got very bad from there. I went to her room and the moment I set foot in her room I collapsed, and when she asked me what I was doing in her room I think I was having an illusion and I said "I'm looking for my pencil". She guided me back to my room and closed my door. At around 2 AM or maybe earlier, I woke up and I saw myself. I saw my body. I was outside of my body and I saw myself stand up. After that I passed out and woke up in the hospital. The next morning in the hospital, I still had hallucinations for a day or two but my suicide attempt was the scariest thing that has ever happened to me in my life.
firelovelies firelovelies
18-21, F
1 Response Aug 15, 2014

I am so glad you survived! Please talk to someone if you ever get to that point again. If you are in a crisis, please call for help:

1-800-273-8255 or 1-800-784-2433 (available 24/7)

Thank you. <3