Feeling Uncertain

I've been through a lot of abuse in my life...verbal,physical, emotional,sexual..i don't really talk about it. I'm afraid if i do the people will look at me differently. I'm always smiling and staying positive and strong to help others..i'm so scared that if i tell people the truth about my past, they'd treat me differently. I was hoping id be able to share the truth here...i don't think i can..letting it out and letting people know..just thinking about doing it makes me feel panicky and scared. Maybe one day i will be able to...maybe one day i will but that day is not today.
somethingspecial1 somethingspecial1
22-25, F
8 Responses Aug 24, 2012

I can understand what you might be going through. No, I have not been abused. But the fear of letting someone see exactly what I am is too much.

We are all afraid at times. Afraid of rejection, afraid of someone pitying us, but time will come, when you can openly talk about it, without fear, and that day, u ll get closure.

I too, am a victim/survivor of sexual child abuse, physical and mental abuse, that started, as far as I can remember, when I was 2-3 yrs old. I repressed/suppressed most of the memories. I completely understand the fear of not wanting anyone to know. I am close to 60 yrs old and just now opening up. You will choose the when or if. For me, telling all I can remember and getting professional assistance in recovering memories has been the best thing I could do for myself. You hang in there. We all have to do things in our own way and in our own time.

You will let people know when, and if, you want to do so. The truth is, letting people know anything about you is your choice. Each of us has had something in our lives we could not control, but you have this and no one can make you do anything with it. Do what you want and enjoy the freedom you have.

i've posted my stories of the abuse i got by people. it feels good to tell people what has happen to you. my bio father sexually molested me since i was born tell age 15. the dumb police wont do anything about it. i hope you do post another story explaining what happen to you i would love to read it.

i have not posted my storie hear yet,what stared before i was 5 still haunts.May you find some peace knowing you are not alone.

My story is more or less the same. I started speaking abt whn I was 28. I wud say I regretted. I shud have waited like you. I should have told it to some1 who is compassionate. Peace to u

There is no rush. Take your time. And there is no obligation to share. Only share if you want to, and you are up to it. <br />
<br />
It took me 40 years to share it.

I wrote a poem about it in another group...its called little girl..its in my stories if youd like to take a look...thank you for your support..its nice to know i'm not the only one with trouble opening up about it

Yes, even for me, the day is not today.