When I Came Home...

After going to the mental hospital for driving my car into a bridge, my first sergeant put me under watch. He ordered my husband to take 2 weeks leave to watch me while I wasnt at work. Two weeks. On the first day my husband tried to convince me that I was crazy and that he never hurt me. The second day he tried to be sweet on me. The end of the week came, I hadnt made him dinner or folded his laundry or cleaned up his messes he left all over the house. Hell, I didnt live there, it wasnt my responsibility. He saw it differently. (after i came home from deployment, i moved into the dorms, whereas he lived in our house we bought, but when I got put on watch, I was forced to stay there...with HIM).
On Monday I went to work, I was relieved of duty, so I worked in the vehicle section of our sqaudron detailing and picking up vehicles. When I came "home" that evening, I was 10 minutes late and he noticed. He knew exactly how long it took to get from the base to the house, 7 minutes. I tried to explain that me and all the ROD's were held after to get our ***** chewed because somebody didnt come back to work and we couldnt leave until he got there. My husband got mad and called the law enforcement desk to verify my story. As I stood leaning against the counter in the kitchen, looking at him like he was idiot, the girl on the phone told him she didnt know. He hung up the phone, and threw a plate from the sink and hit me in the face. I looked at him the "wrong way" after that and he grabbed me by the hair and threw me into the stairs. As I went down I hit my head on the rail. He came and pinned my arms to steps with one hand and started punching me.
Tuesday's were PT days. Instead of showing up at work at 7am, I was supposed to go to the football field at 530am. I didnt make it there. Instead I spent that hour trying to cover up the swelling and the bruising that developed on my face. I reported to work at 8am. This was the normal time for tuesdays. 530-700 PT and then they gave us an hour to get to work after that. I went all day without anyone except one friend saying anything to me about my face and my arms. A lot of the people that I worked with were friends with my husband. half an hour before we were about to be released to go home, my ROD supervisor called me and my friend into his office. Neither one of us showed for PT that morning, so he was going to write us up. When I walked in to his office he noticed my face. He asked wht happened and I back mouthed him and said What the phuck do you care? You havent helped me this far and you were the one that suggested this. He called my husband and asked him what happened. My husband said he didnt know.
After I filled out my statement, the investigation started. My husbands best friend was the leading "detective". They tried to convince me that they didnt believe me and tried to tell me that my husband has beenin Illinois since friday. What they didnt realize was that my supervisor works the law enforcement desk and there are cameras at the gates. After identifying his car going through the truck gate, they looked at cameras in the squadron. He had been in the chiefs office monday morning. Supposedly they had reciepts for gas in kansas and illionois on saterday. Lie. They called his family and they said he had been there all weekend. Lie. Finally a witness. They talked to our neighbors. The neighbor said that they saw him on tuesday afternoon getting the paper. The neighbor said he even waved.
They put out a BOLO, and he was to be arrested right away. When he came to squadron they didnt arrest him because he told them that I was crazy and that I had done that to myself. They had a good reason to believe him, I did try to commit suicide just weeks before that. The fact of the matter was that I wasnt lying and they knew it. When we went "home" he was at it again. He kept shoving me and then he said "I swear to God, that if you ever EVER tell anyone again I will kill you. Later that night I woke up to get a drink of water. He was down stairs cleaning his pistol. As I tried to sneak back up the stairs he ran over to me and put the gun to head. I told him to do it. He pulled the trigger and said Ah just kidding. It scared the crap out of me. I went up stairs and decided to take a bath. He came in about 10 minutes later and asked if I was mad at him and if I still loved him. I told him just to sign the divorce papers. He went bonkers, put his hands around my throat and held my head under the water. I couldnt breathe. Then he pulled me up and said phuck you *****. youll die before that ever happens.
In the morning I went to work without any words said to anyone about what happened the night before. They were just going to call me a liar and tell him everything that I said and still force me to stay at his house. I lost my rank on this day for drinking and driving. I told my supervisor that I had to go to my dorm room to get more clothes, so at lunch I went. I also grabbed my ambien, zoloft, tylenol PM, and Ibuprofin. When I went back to work I was quiet, until my husband came in. That morning he went to the first sergeants office and convinced them not to put a no contact order on us that we would work things out. He walked by and called me a phucking B-I-T-C-H. I went outside and cried. They didnt even believe that he said that to be even when there was 2 other people who heard him.
After work I went home....thought about my life and my military career. Both seemed to be over. So I took 50 ambiens, 30 Ibuprofins, 25 tylenol pms and slit my wrists. My husband came into the bathroom and watched me bleed until I passed out. Then I think he called 911.
Chelle2323 Chelle2323
22-25
2 Responses Jul 20, 2010

I am sorry for your situation, but I feel alot less crazy now, because I too tried to commit suicide I don't think don't know if I wanted to die, or if I didn't want to live like this anymore. I told the people about the abuse and because I have kids with him they found me(me) guilty of child abuse because I failed to protect myself I wasn't protecting my kids. I got supervised vistiation ( they stayed with their dad, my abuser) while I completed 8 months of 2 classes a day while he had to do nothing! He has taken me back cause I lost my job while attending the 2 cps classes a day and couldn't afford to find a place of my own. now Im back getting my *** kicked every other day with my kids watching and I can't ask for help cause it will backfire again. I want to get a job and save to take my kids and move but he won't let me get a job. I have been with him for 16 years but never married, no family or friends and no hope

Wow. You have not had it easy.