My Bank Account Favours My Abuser - Now What?

There are many things I could share about my recent survival of domestic violence and the muddy trench I occupy. Currently being attacked by my son's desire to see his dad but authorities “defending” his interest with all their uncoordinated actions. His 10th birthday next week and Christmas will be without his dad.
My husband could not deal with my redundancy a year ago, especially because it was all my fault and he knew this was coming 10 years ago. Getting a lower paid job straight away was even worse: I dared to openly like the job.
His ways of not dealing with things and blaming me became rapidly worse and the controlled abusive behaviour turned into uncontrolled domestic outbursts. That's when I took two of the incidents to the police and since then the criminal justice system has taken over my life. I wished they could at least spell my name right.
For the first court date I accidentally found the witness waiting room where I sat for 3 hours with the blinds down. Shame, I think it was actually a rare sunny day. Then I was sent home because evidence was not submitted properly. Hmmm...
Second court date collided with an important all day group job interview (I got the job).
The third court date was the moment of truth where I realised that I cowardly still allow him to control me.
But how can I give evidence against my husband if I depend on his financial support? Overdraft limits are about to be exceeded and he cleverly adds just enough to the account.
I have two jobs, also working self-employed, doing overtime and renting my bedroom. One day I’ll get a book deal and sell my paintings. But that’ll be too late for my boy.
I don't have many people to talk to, not much affection coming my way and no family nearby, so really hope someone will read this and tell me if I can make it. Thank you!
easyblue easyblue
36-40, F
Dec 16, 2012