5 Year's Of Pain....

My story begin's with the end of my first relationship of 6 year's, the man i thought i would marry and spend the rest of my life with ended up cheating on me, i left him and 2 weeks later found out i was pregnant, we tried to make it work but it was over and we both knew it, for a whole year i stayed in my house raising my daughter, i was lonely and depressed, i went out one night and met a man, he was funny and charming, and from then on we were inseperable. He was so loving, caring, wanted only to please me and make me happy, if it was another time i would have been so excited, but my mind was still stuck on the relationship that had just ended, my mind was a blur with a colicy baby and a relationship that ended so badly, i couldn't trust any man yet, after 8 month's i cheated, went out and got drunk and cheated, he found out and he was so hurt and upset, we ended up breaking up for 9 months, of course he left for another woman, the whole time we were together he always said to me that he didn't want to hurt me, i knew he was a ladies man, and women loved him, all that in my head i didn't take him seriously.

Well i cheated and he left, i was so hurt and finally opened my eye's to how much i needed him and his loving word's in my life, i knew we would get back together, i wanted it so bad, i wanted that back........It was the worst decision in my life. 

After he beat his girlfriend that he left me for, he ended up in jail, im not sure if it was for beating on her, but that's when we started talking again, i would put money on his book's, run my phone bill up so high just to let him have someone to call when he needed someone.  He got out and we got back together.  It started out as if thing's would go back to the way they were, we went to a friend's house, drinking and having fun, and all of the sudden he turned into someone i never knew before, i was sitting on the couch and he was yelling, i still don't really remember about what, and each time he would say something he would punch me in my face, say something, punch me in my face, it went on for i don't even know how long, and i ended up leaving, i still don't understand why the people who were in the house did not do a thing.....well the next day, my face was so bruised and cut up, i couldn't even see me.  Well he came back and said he was so sorry, i never deserved it....same thing's i would hear over and over for year's.

He would tell me im not worth anything, i am a ****, i am a *****, so much mental abuse as well as physical.

One day he was talking to his daughter's mother on the phone, he had to go there (at 12 at night) for a reason i still don't understand, it had nothing at all to do with his child.  He came home and was mad that i wasn't even mad, he beat me so bad in front of my daughter, she was screaming and crying and all i can do was try my hardest to calm him down so he wouldn't hurt my baby. The next day she seen blood on the bathroom wall and started freaking out so bad, my heart was so broken.

This went on for year's, and in the end we weren't even together, but he still acted like we were, even though we were not living together.  We ended up having a child together, another girl and such a blessing. I ended up having to move in with him because i lost my house.  Thing's still were the same but that side of him that i loved so much was still there, i seen bit's of it here and there, we were getting along so well until one night....He went out to a party, i put our daughter to bed, my other daughter was at her father's house (thank God), i ended up going to bed, waking up to him comming home around 2am.  i got up and sat at the kitchen table with him, and i can feel the tension, i didn't say anything because i knew what was comming, i got so nervouse and scared and started shaking. He grabbed a glass lid to a candle and asked me who i was *******, i said no one, as i did not cheat again, i loved him and never wanted to lose him, and tried to show him that everyday, well after i said no one he hit me in my head with the glass lid, he would ask again, i would say it again, and he kept hitting, and hitting after every question, had to be over 50 times he hit me in my head, then he walked into the kitchen and grabbed a knife, holding it in his hand as if to say ok im gonna ask you one more time, well i couldn't let this happen while my daughter was in the house, so i stood up and said you will not do this while our daughter is in the house, after that i blacked out, i can't remember how it happened, i can't remember at all, i just know that right as it was happening, the cop's knocked on the door.

God was there with me that night, God only know's if i would have survived had they not showed up at the door.  He started cleaning up all the blood on the floor and said "oh please, i can't go back to jail, please" i was in shock, still not even sure what happened, he told me to go in the shower while he answer's the door, so i went in and got undressed and seen in the mirror a hole right in my stomache, he stabbed me in my stomache and in my leg, i was so shocked at everything i didn't even think of telling the police, i was in a daze.  He ended up falling asleep on the bed, after the cop's left our daughter woke up so she was up at this time, i grabbed her and fell asleep in the front room right next to her, in the morning he woke up for work as if nothing was wrong, slapped me on my *** and said he loved me and he will see me later. Right after he left i got up and packed what i could and walked with my daughter in her stroller to a store to call for a ride to the hospital. 

The doctor's have no idea how i didn't bleed out,the knife went through my muscle all the way back to my bowel, brusing it, and in my leg the wound was so close to hitting my main artery. I am blessed to be alive and today he is in jail, he only got 3 year's for this......i lied when i got to the hospital and said it happened at a club, my family found out it was him and told the police and they couldn't charge him with more then the lowest felony because i lied......

So much has happened, and something inside me still misses and love's him, but i know that he is very sick and need's help for this disease. My heart break's that his daughter will never be able to get to know her father.

StabbedSurvivor StabbedSurvivor
26-30, F
2 Responses Jan 22, 2013

If only there was a way to help this guy out. Its a sad sad world we live in. He got some issues and he don't know how to cope with it in a positive way. And actually that is the difference in people. Our coping strategies. We all go through something whether big or small. People who abuse other are hurting too. Hope you don't get mad at me but I am kind of relieved that she doesn't know who her father is.

I am glad 2, i am just sad about the fact that she doesn't know who he is, the man i see underneath all the hurt and pain. I hope he gets the help he needs but i know that he will never come around again unless and until i have REAL proof that he has been through everything he needs to go through to become a better person for not only his daughter, but himself and for anyone else around him. I have let go of caring about how his life goes, a struggle i had to go through to be able to put that part of my life in my past and grow stronger and wiser for my children.
and i would never get mad at what you say, i am very glad i met u, God is great and works in mysterious ways, i know we met for a reason :)

cool.....(っ◕‿◕)っ ♥

My heart goes out to u n ur daughters....I really can't find the words to express how i feel right now..jus that im sorry u went thru this...im so happy u made it out......jus wanna thank u once again for sharing ir story...much live to yah

Thank you for your kind words, i really believe everything happens for a reason