I have always felt alone and i have never been able to share my story for many reasons ...the main one being severe trust issues... I hope that in time i will be able to share bits of my story on here...i need to get it out as it eats me up every day and if i told people in my life they would not believe me...my fiancee knows some of the stuff and has been so caring and suppportive which i find hard to accept and deal with as I have never had anyone care about me or allow me to cry without reprecussions... I just dont understand how a mother can beat her child so badly that she breaks her ribs or how she could leave me having constant bruises from belts, fists, razor straps, canes, wire hangers, extension cords...basically whatever she could get her hands on when she felt i had stepped out of line..... though all i would have to do is sneeze and that gave reason for a beating... and there were other punishments too... mostly of a sexual nature. Thats all i feel able to say for now... i am sorry if i have upset anyone here or annoyed anyone... please forgive me if i have.
cheekygirl21 cheekygirl21
36-40, F
5 Responses Aug 22, 2014

i find i can talk on here as know one knows me they do see me or hear me i can say what i want and if they are interested i will tell them more i feel a bit better for talking about my life but i find it hard to talk to some one face to face

I know exactly what you mean jvcs.. It is a good outlet to get out what you need to say without people knowing who you are. I am still a bit weary about telling parts of my story as they are pretty horrific and people may not believe what I say and I would be defeated if anyone thought my experiences were lies :-(

i am here if you want to tell me any thing i dont judge

Thank you.. That's much appreciated :-)

So sorry that you had to go through that.

thank you.. i am alot better now than i ever was but still bear the physical and emotional scars of my past

sharing your story helps, in my experience. being a victim of abuse is sooooo very isolating. when you share your story you recieve support to get through it and to heal. i encourage you to. be brave!

Very courageous to tell the first part of your story

You have done nothing wrong. Nothing to apologize for. I suggest that you find a very sensitive and compassionate therapist, to help you move forward.