I'm Hoping To Call Myself A Survivor...

I have been married for 4 years to a man I thought I know. We have been together for 14 years. Over the years, he has verbally, amotionally, and physically abused me. For some stupid reason, I have always let it go. I think it's because I never felt likte I could be loved by anyone and was too afraid to be alone. Anyhow, Last year, we had a beautiful son together and things have gotten much worse. When I was only 2 days post-partum, still in the hospital after a very complicated delivery, he started in on my about how instead of being with our son on my husband's first Father's Day, he had to go home and clean up the house since I had been such a slacker. Then, 1 week postpartum, his family comes in from out of town to visit. Before they showed up, He chewed me out about putting the baby down and cleaning the house. I had been such a lazy @^#*^. All his parents coulddo at the time was comment on how it looked like my son had lost so much weight since he was born. 2 weeks postpartum, we had another argument and he slapped me across the face 6 times while I was nursing my son. Long story short, he is still very verbally abusive. He makes me feel like I can't do anything right. I have been to counsellors, psychiatrist, etc. I am on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication. He tells me on a regular basis that no one would ever give me custody of my son because I am such a loser. I want to leave, but am petrified. I know he will try to stalk me. I know he will get physical. I know he will do anything and everything to keep me from getting my son. What's a girl to do?
Lovingmommy Lovingmommy
31-35, F
4 Responses Jul 21, 2010

I am so very sorry that this is happening to you. I realize that it has been a few months since your post, but I would like to offer some friendly advice.<br />
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First you need to realize that what he says about custody of your son, is wholly incorrect. He uses it as a scare tactic to keep you under submission. Do not believe it for even a moment. <br />
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Second, if he abuses you he will abuse your son, the first chance that he gets. You must now go from scared battered woman to protective mother fearing for her son's life. Leaving your husband is the first step into moving forward. Document any abuse, file police reports, restraining orders and anyother complaint that you can. If you do not have any family that you can stay with call a local battered women's shelter or go to either the police department or hospital they will be able to help you leave. <br />
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Does he work during the day? Then leave then, or if he is home then call the police and have them escort you out of the home. This way if he tries something then you will have protection. Remember the only two people who matter are you and your son. You must get out of that situation so that you can give you son the life that he deserves and give your self the life that you deserve. <br />
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If you husband ctches you he will get violent and then we will get really sweet. DO NOT fall of this trick. Stay strong and think only of you and your son. Your son does not need a daddy that hits mommy and makes her cry nor does he need a daddy that hits him and makes him cry. It is better to only have a mommy that truly loves him then to have a daddy who treats mommy like dirt and who abuses him.<br />
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I wish you all the strenght and courage that I have. I am praying for you. I truly hope that this was a help in some way. Please understand that you and your son do not deserve the treatment that you are getting. It is not your fault regardless of what trash he tells you or calls you.

im in your boat unfortunatly i just secretly signed up to be a eb cam model no offence to anyone but hats how esperate i am to fiance my escape from my psycatic husband he went to court to dsy for body slamming me they trying to give him 300 days i pray he gets that and more as soon as he does im filing for divorce and im moving hopefully he wont find me i hate his guts and all people who phyiscally or emtionally harm other people i wish your guy and mine get a million times worse with karma but i dont think he gonna get much he might get a few months in jail then he ill be on to his next victom

im in your boat unfortunatly i just secretly signed up to be a eb cam model no offence to anyone but hats how esperate i am to fiance my escape from my psycatic husband he went to court to dsy for body slamming me they trying to give him 300 days i pray he gets that and more as soon as he does im filing for divorce and im moving hopefully he wont find me i hate his guts and all people who phyiscally or emtionally harm other people i wish your guy and mine get a million times worse with karma but i dont think he gonna get much he might get a few months in jail then he ill be on to his next victom

im in your boat unfortunatly i just secretly signed up to be a eb cam model no offence to anyone but hats how esperate i am to fiance my escape from my psycatic husband he went to court to dsy for body slamming me they trying to give him 300 days i pray he gets that and more as soon as he does im filing for divorce and im moving hopefully he wont find me i hate his guts and all people who phyiscally or emtionally harm other people i wish your guy and mine get a million times worse with karma but i dont think he gonna get much he might get a few months in jail then he ill be on to his next victom