One Day I'll Never Forget

From 11 am till 11 pm. I cut my left arm twice and cut 3/4 way through right wrist and laid on bed bleeding for 2 hours. I then got up and took 10 vicodin and ran the bath water. Figured I would go to sleep and that would be it. But at 10 pm I had lost enough blood to be barely able to move and talk. I crawled out of the bath and uttered 2 words to my dad. Call 911. I then died.

I saw a white light and was smiling as I left my body to see my mom in heaven. Then paramedics hit me with their drugs and electricity and I was alive and helicoptered to surgery to save my hand. I am now typing with that hand.

I want to help everyone who is that depressed by giving them my love.
Extinguish Extinguish
41-45, M
1 Response Nov 26, 2012

this story is kinda inspiring!!!

thanks. xoxo

i have 2 suiside atepts but nothing that crazy... i suffer from really bad depression and i think about suiside all the time... i feel like the reason it didnt work the times i tryed before is because im here for a reason. same to you! you made it because you where ment to live and share your story to help people!

Can I be a friend for you?

yes, if you just want to be my friend!! i would liek that!

How are u doing? I hope u r feeling better.

im doing alright!! how ar eyou doing? do you still have depression and stuff?

Yeah, it seems to never fully go away. Just different levels. I just want to be happy.

I do to:/ i think thats the hardest some people who battle depression and stuff dont really tryy and be happy but for the ones that do, its so sad:/ im still young and i want to live my life and be a fun happy teenanger but im slowly looseing intrest in everything:(

I really hope that u do. I wish I was still a teenager cause I'd take u out for a nice dinner and movie to make u feel better. But I can be your online friend to talk to and help u not do what I did to myself.

well thats very nice of you i can always use someone to talk to! i dont know if you red my story bur i was in a relationship with an older guy after i was raped and he was a huge part of my life, he really helped me! guys my age are great but they where kinda unable to deal with all of my issues... its so nice to have someone older and wiser to talk to because they know more of what your going through

I am happy to talk to you. I feel good when I help others even though I have not found the right recipe for my happiness. I have been through it all in high school... from being bullied as a freshman, to making the varsity baseball team as a freshman and being popular with the juniors and seniors, to getting snubbed by the girl I had the hots for, to being school president and having lots of friends but never the girl I really I wish I could do it all over again instead of trying to kill myself.

did you try and do it because of the girl? my mom doesnt know all of the stuff thats going on but she always tells me that i need to decide im happy then ill be happy... doesnt work for me but maybe it would work for you?!

no, she got married and moved out of state. I am grown up now but still miss the high school crush. It isn't quite as easy as your mom tells u with good intentions.
You do need to love yourself I think before others will love u and u can be happy.
I tried suicide because I felt lonely, desperate and really missed my mom who died last year.

oh thats hard im sorry:/ and i know its not:// she thinks i do everything for atention but she just doent understand i would love to be diffrent.... i am always sad and i cut sll the time as well as take pills and mild baleimia.. i tryed suiside because i felt alone in the world like no one cared the first time i tryed was the day i lost the last person keeping me here... how did you miss her if she died last year and not when you did it? im very sorry for your loss...:/ do you think it would helped if you found someone new?

I don't think u ever get over losing your mom. I kept the pain inside until the day I decided to go. U are young and have a full chance of happiness. If I found the right lady, which is not easy, then maybe my pain might go somewhat away. I hope u can start by not cut. U can add me as your friend if u like and when u r sad, I'll try to pick u up. Life is certainly a challenge but every day is a new beginning for u.

you tryed to take your life when you where 17 now your 30 something and your mom passed away one year ago? im confused and i would like that ill add you im just falling apart at the moment and im not sure how to be happy:/

No, I tried to take my life 3 months ago. I was 17 when I started having thoughts of hurting myself. My mom just died last year and she was someone who i could talk to

oh i understand, im so sorry:(

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