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School Phone Menu

Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:

To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1

To make excuses for why your child did not do his work - Press 2

To complain about what we do - Press 3

To swear at staff members - Press 4

To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5

If you want us to raise your child - Press 6

If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7

To request another teacher, for the third time this year - Press 8

To complain about bus transportation - Press 9

To complain about school lunches - Press 0

If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework and that it's not all the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!
OMGitsRiley OMGitsRiley 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 6, 2012

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Hahahaha, I love it.

I've heard this one before and I always laugh. Trouble is, it's a bit too much like the real thing! Do you wonder if we really did put that on the school phone system, that some parents would really go for it? I suspect many wouldn't pick the last one!

I wonder if it would stop and make them think. I usually have students with parents who call me or want conferences every other week or those I never hear from at all. Out of the list above, sadly, most would choose number 6.

Yep. Until you've done a great job with them, then they want them back!

Wow!! :), Hopefully all the parents select the last option!!

Oh, we can hope.

Hi Riley -- yeah my parents always heard that last part and hung up (actually, they never would have made the call). I didn't always like it, but I wouldn't want to trade them for anything!

They probably don't have any worries with you at school. I don't doubt for a minute that you are a bright young lady who does well in school.