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Unsure Of Myself

I trained to be a teacher in 2010-2011 and have just started my first year of full time teaching as I was doing part time work and other things last year.

I'm worried that i'm not up to the job as I seem to be struggling to keep on top of everything. I recently split up with my long term boyfriend and I think that may have had an impact although I don't want to blame that on my performance at work.

On a day to day basis i'm fine but it's things like lesson observations that I can't seem to perform well in. The rest of the team know this and I feel like I am being judged as a bad teacher. We also check each others marking and one teacher in particular whilst checking my work loudly announced in front of everyone that she didn't agree with the grade I had given to one of my students and continued to comment on how their work wasn't very good.

I just feel very low at the moment and i'm worried about whether I can cope with the job - I want to be successful and do not deal well with failure or criticism (which I know I must learn to). At the moment my self confidence is low and I don't think that's helping.

Does anyone have any advice or similar feelings?
Sparkleandmagic Sparkleandmagic 22-25 4 Responses Dec 22, 2012

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We are currently founding a new organization. This is a society of "preppers", "survivalists" etc.... We are currently seeking professionals in the education industry as we are lacking in this area.

I had a very hard time during student teaching (8th grade and 11th grade). I got on better with the high school students but my cooperating teacher had been in the same job for 26 years and was not about to relinquish control of her way of doing things. Whenever I'd write up lessons to be audited by my school supervisor (I admit to being different in the way I teach, having a lot of class interaction and bringing in things like Tetris and crop circles), she would say things like, "Why are you doing that silly stuff?" Okay, she had 26 years' worth of experience on me. It hurt. It hurt a lot. I didn't help that my former teaching partner was a local actor, very outgoing and witty, and I wanted really badly to be like him. I wasn't hired straight out of the gate-- instead I took a tutoring position and started the same day as my interview. One on one, you really can't pretend to be someone else, you know? And after a week or so, when I asked a student if she wanted the other math tutor to explain something to her because he was really popular and outgoing, she insisted that she wanted me because I wasn't like him. I'd taken time to get to know her and I was quirky and weird and although I was high-energy, I didn't boom at her. My students regularly make a nine to eleven point jump on their math ACT scores and parents love me. That's when I realized it was okay to be Mr. Miyagi, not John Keating. Unfortunately, during a mock interview I had a few months ago I was told, "You sound like you'd make a great tutor." Well, sir, that's because I AM one. Now I realize that the man that said that was an *** and this job gave me the opportunity to get my confidence back. Trust yourself, okay? Maybe you're not so hot on observations right now, and maybe loud, important people disagree with you, but you have something that you do better than they do. Only you know what it is. Congratulate yourself on that. Consider this: Would you ever be as critical of a student as you are of yourself right now?

i am an angry learner and no it isnt the teacher or anyone else that i get mad at its me but i keep getting told your new your just learning youll grow into your skin you can do it your doing great as is and all you can do is get better. just relax and have fun if teaching is what you want to do then try to enjoy it

Peer critiquing is all part of the accreditation process for teachers. When you first start out you inevitably make mistakes. The way to cope with it is to think hard about it and vow next time not to repeat that mistake. Learn by your mistakes and you will be a truly great teacher. But as you are just starting out, don't feel too bad about it; it is all part of the learning process. And yes, I have been through feeling just like you and I got so low that I left teaching altogether for many years. Try not to take your perceived faults to heart, but develop a thick skin and just aim at surviving. You will find that all those problems will just fade away as the months turn into years. All the best.

Thank you for taking the time to reply with some wise and kind words - I was worried someone might just tell me to give up! Knowing that you have similar feelings helps and also I think you're right about developing a thick skin. Have you gone back to teaching?

Yes and I really love it! :)