Becoming A Mom Of Twins At 13!
I never had a very stable or good childhood growing up. Both my parents were alcoholics and my dad has bipolar disease. We had very little money and my parents abused me, so I spent most of my childhood growing up with 3 of my cousins and aunt who raised me. Having the childhood I did, it screwed me up big time and I didn't know how to deal with my past, especially since my parents still caused me trouble even after I moved out of their house and into my cousin and aunts house when I was little. I started drinking, cutting, smoking, and taking pain killers secretly to try and forget everything, but it never helped for more than a little bit at a time. The only thing that made me feel better was spending time with my best friend, Keegan. We had known each other since i was 3 and he was 5 and were best friends immediately. The more we got older, we started realizing we had more feelings for each other and started dating. One night I had sex with him because I thought it would make me feel better after having a day full of beatings from my parents and 4 weeks later, we found out I was pregnant with twins. 2 babies at 13 and 15 years old. My cousins and aunt had passed away the year before, so I was living with my parents when we found out and they kicked me out. Luckily, Keegan's family was more like a family to me than my own and they took me in. Everyone besides Keegan and his family tried to convince me to have an abortion, but I refused. Any mom out there whose trying to choose between abortion, adoption, or keeping your child, please please don't abort. If you can't support your child, there's plenty of willing adoptive parents who are waiting for you to answer their prayers. My heart told me I had to own up to my mistake and I just didn't have the heart to give my girls away, so we decided to keep them. Keegan was fortunate enough to come from a wealthy family that could steadily support two new members, but I know this isn't the case for most teen parents. And if it isn't, there are literally thousands of groups and organizations across the country who live to support teen moms financially and emotionally as well. But anyways, I gave birth to my twin girls Charlotte and Cambree on November 6th, 2010. They were born 5 weeks premature and both had many severe health risks, so they were kept in the NICU. Charlotte passed away on November 9th, only 3 days after her and her sister were born because many of her organs weren't developed enough to support her. It was already life changing enough for keegan and i to give birth to TWO babies, but it put us even more past the point of shock and anxiety to lose one of them. Losing a child is the worst thing that can happen to anyone, no matter what the age of the parents or the child is. We were both more depressed, stressed out, and helpless than we've ever been. But, we still had to be good parents for Cambree. She was released from the hospital the following January and that's when reality really hit us. While still grieving, we had to learn how to be parents for the first time. It's one of the hardest things to learn how to adapt to, but it just takes time and you have to take everything one day at a time. Luckily, we had the support of Keegan's family, which I still think is one of the main reasons I am where I am today as a mother. The months went by and we faced challenges like we've never faced before, but we still stayed together. Cambree grew and developed normally and we took the best care of her as possible. But in may of 2011, me and Keegan were hit by a drunk driver while we were in his car and he was in a coma for a week before he passed away. For no reason at all, I had my best friend and father of my girls taken away from me in an instant. Losing him put me over the edge. I felt like I wanted to start cutting, smoking, taking pills, and anything else to get rid of the pain again, but I fought the urge to every day because I had to be strong for Cambree. Even thought I became a single mom, I still had the support of Keegan's family, which is what has helped me deal with the grief and thought of being a single mom ever since he first passed. 9 months ago, his family had to move away and I moved back into my parents house with Cambree. She's the light of my life and the single reason I wake up every day. I may not have Keegan, Charlotte, Keegan's family, my own family to love and accept me, or good friends who are loyal to me, but I'll always have her. She's now a little over two years old and I'm 15 years old. Keegan's family visits whenever they can and they support me and her, financially and emotionally, as much as they can too, but it's me in the end who Cambree relies on. Becoming a teen parent is probably the hardest thing anyone could go through. You're faced with so many choices and obstacles you've never even thought about before. Your innocence is taken from you because of a bad choice you made and you have to forever pay the price of your actions. However, it isnt all bad. God blessed you with a baby for a reason, either to give it to a family who needs one, or to keep it and raise it as your own. No matter what you decide yo do, do what's best for your baby in the long run. Becoming a young mom can either be a blessing or a curse, it depends on how you look at it. Teen pregnancy is scary and it's anything but glamorous, but becoming a mother to a baby is a whole other story. I've used my experiences to my advantage and try to help and speak to as many teen moms as I can to give them support. If anyone has any questions or needs any kind of support at all, I'm always here.