I Am A Teen Rape Victim
Life has lots of curve balls in it; sometimes those curve balls can either break us or becomes a good in our life, if we learn how to use them.
The title of my story: 2008-2009 Apartment is based on what happen in the later year, of 2009 while I was living there. I was enrolled in an advance maths programmed at the university, the lecture put each and everyone in the class in groups of eight (8), we were to work as a team in helping each other and getting assignments in on time.
The group was fine, everyone seemed to be so cool, and I loved the group that I was in. The class was made up of Soldiers, Accountants and mostly professionals. I was so happy with my group that beside class work we all looked for a reason to lime other than school.
I was used to going over to each other houses when there was a major project to be done. The group a couple of times came at my apartment and it was okay each time that they were there.
In 2009 almost at the closing of the school term, we planned a lime at my apartment, because it was the last time for us to meet as a group until the long summer break. The plan was to have non-alcoholic drinks and a nice lime to close us off as a group. Unfortunately it did not pull-off, no one showed up because of the rains that fell so hard that day, which caused flash flooding.
The next day after things was somewhat back to normal, one member from the group showed up at my apartment. I was happy to see him. We chatted for a long while, and then the conversation turned into personal ones. My love life and his love life was the topic.
We both knew now that none of us had someone to call our own. Everything started going so fast, I felt I was speeding from that moment on. I wanted to slow things down that afternoon. His clothing came off so fast, I telling him slow down was a wasting of time, before I knew it, he was on top of me kissing and taking my breath away. He was so heavy that, I was stifling and the fun that I was once experiencing with him earlier was no more. It became a nightmare, for him and for me.
I was pushing him off and he was pressing and holding me down as hard as he can. I was in tears, telling him to stop and in pain. I was hurting so bad that, when he finally stop my legs and arms was shaking and my inside was sore and hurting so badly that I had to wait awhile before I could move from off the chair.
I was confused, but I took the blame for what I had done at the time. I made him rope me into having sex with him. I HATED MYSELF FOR LETTING THAT HAPPEN. I eventually got better in three days. I willed myself not to think about me. I was no longer in pain.
I was busy again; I took up tennis and focused on something new. I was used to my brother and father having sex with me, so I dealt with it as usual by being an overachiever and by getting busy. My life today is somewhat better; I know now that I should face my problems and not try to forget it. Sometime I will picture the incident tell God that I am sorry for my foolish ways and start dealing with the issues.
One thing I want to let someone know who has just read this story, getting busy and trying to forget does not work, it makes the healing process longer. I was raped and he knew what he did. I said NO! Many times before his garments came off. He pulled mines off and held me down.
Now I firmly believe my tikkun is to help others who have been sexually abuse, and raped in my own unique way to help them heal.
NO AND STOP MEANS EXACTLY WHAT THEY MEAN, DON’T MATTER WHICH POINT OF THE SEXUAL ACT OR PROCESS BOTH PARTIES REACHED.
The title of my story: 2008-2009 Apartment is ba
The group was fine, everyone seemed to be so cool, and I loved the group that I was in. The class was made up of Soldiers, Accountants and mostly professionals. I was so happy with my group that beside class work we all looked for a reason to lime other than school.
I was used to going over to each other houses when there was a major project to be done. The group a couple of times came at my apartment and it was okay each time that they were there.
In 2009 almost at the closing of the school term, we planned a lime at my apartment, because it was the last time for us to meet as a group until the long summer break. The plan was to have non-alcoholic drinks and a nice lime to close us off as a group. Unfortunately it did not pull-off, no one showed up because of the rains that fell so hard that day, which caused flash flooding.
The next day after things was somewhat back to normal, one member from the group showed up at my apartment. I was happy to see him. We chatted for a long while, and then the conversation turned into personal ones. My love life and his love life was the topic.
We both knew now that none of us had someone to call our own. Everything started going so fast, I felt I was speeding from that moment on. I wanted to slow things down that afternoon. His clothing came off so fast, I telling him slow down was a wasting of time, before I knew it, he was on top of me kissing and taking my breath away. He was so heavy that, I was stifling and the fun that I was once experiencing with him earlier was no more. It became a nightmare, for him and for me.
I was pushing him off and he was pressing and holding me down as hard as he can. I was in tears, telling him to stop and in pain. I was hurting so bad that, when he finally stop my legs and arms was shaking and my inside was sore and hurting so badly that I had to wait awhile before I could move from off the chair.
I was confused, but I took the blame for what I had done at the time. I made him rope me into having sex with him. I HATED MYSELF FOR LETTING THAT HAPPEN. I eventually got better in three days. I willed myself not to think about me. I was no longer in pain.
I was busy again; I took up tennis and focused on something new. I was used to my brother and father having sex with me, so I dealt with it as usual by being an overachiever and by getting busy. My life today is somewhat better; I know now that I should face my problems and not try to forget it. Sometime I will picture the incident tell God that I am sorry for my foolish ways and start dealing with the issues.
One thing I want to let someone know who has just read this story, getting busy and trying to forget does not work, it makes the healing process longer. I was raped and he knew what he did. I said NO! Many times before his garments came off. He pulled mines off and held me down.
Now I firmly believe my tikkun is to help others who have been sexually abuse, and raped in my own unique way to help them heal.
NO AND STOP MEANS EXACTLY WHAT THEY MEAN, DON’T MATTER WHICH POINT OF THE SEXUAL ACT OR PROCESS BOTH PARTIES REACHED.
By:
anyka
Age:
31-35
,
Female
