Finding Myself

I am a 17 year old male Wiccan. My wiccan name is Jacoab Willson (I know I misspelled "Wilson". I'll get to that in a minute), but you can call me Jake if you want to. i have only been a Wiccan for about a year and a half, but I first came across Wicca when I was 13. i was at my town's library, reaching up for a book on the top shelf (I admit it, I'm just slightly height challenged for my age) when i suddenly slipped off the stool i was using, knocking down a few books. when I had got up and went to pick up the books, one of them caught my interest. it was Buckland's Complete Book of Witchcraft. that book is what started it all.

After discovering the words and belief in that book (despite my family's strong religious beliefs), I began to research more and more, always wanting to learn more about Wicca then I had known before. I've always heard bad things about Wicca, but it was one of the most beautiful religions I've ever known. My mom is a devoted Baptist and my dad was raised a Catholic, but i never personally felt close to Christianity. For a little while, I tried to force myself away from Wicca and to Christianity, knowing that my family and my friends would disapprove of my belief.  I don't hate any religion, and I have nothing against Christianity, but I came to realize that Wicca was MY religion, and I wasn't going to pretend that I'm someone I wasn't to be accepted by others anyone. So, I did one of the hardest things I've ever done before: I began to confess my belief and showed the real me.

My confession led to some outcomes that were good and some that were bad but in the long run good as well. The good was that I found out who the people who really care for and accept who i am when my friends and even my father (who always had an open mind, despite how he was raised) accepted both my apology and that I'm a Wiccan, even though they do not believe what I do. However, not everyone is as tolerate as they were. My believes led to the end of many of my friendships and even a few of my relationships. However, I hold no regrets because they only knew the person I was pretending to be, not the real me. like the tides of the sea, my life begun to change. those people were my test of my faith and now that I've found out that my faith in Wicca and my love for the Earth and all that call this place home is unbreakable, it was time for their pathes and mine to part. i have not told my mom about my belief and I know that when I do, it'll be an uphill battle for me until she accepts that I'm a wiccan, not Baptist. I will tell her one day. 

My wiccan name is Jacoab Willson, and i am a Wiccan.  Jacoab comes from my nickname Jake and keeping my last name in my Wiccan name stands for my love and loyalty to my family, despite our differences. I have no longer any shame or fear for saying what and who i really am. I am blessed with the ability to tell the meaning of dreams, both mine and others, with little or not help. Divination is my strong suit and I work with candles, cards, dreams, and star charts. My lifetime goal as a Wiccian is to deepen my connection with the Earth and those who live in it, whether they are plants, animals, humans, or spirits. This is who I really am, and I couldn't be happier being anyone else.

Bless you all

jacoabwillson jacoabwillson
18-21, M
12 Responses Mar 3, 2010

jake,<br />
so im not gunna spout about my parents reacting the same way. . cuz lets be honest, who doesnt have that problem lately? i guess in a way ive been lucky with my uncle, since he also loves wicca and has been helping me to understand a love for something that in my house has always been frowned upon. however, i wanted to show interest in ur chosen talents. when i was younger i had problems with dreams i didnt understand, feelings a deja vu . .etc, i just wanted to express my excitement with someone who also channels that energy through other medias. i also use cards and did even before i decided to recognize wicca as MY religion, as opposed to the catholic beliefs of my family. <br />
<br />
i guess im just saying id love to talk medias, and also styles, reading ect, id love to talk to someone about there approach, and layouts!

Your story really spoke to me because its basically the exact same as my own. My parents are still unaware of my "problem" as they would so callousley call it. I hope you have a good future in this beautiful craft.<br />
<br />
Blessed Be )O(<br />
Golden WIllow

I agree with you there Jeem. i wish people accepting, or at least respecting, other beliefs (I'm not just Wicca but with all religions). Every day, i hear alot bad things or jokes about other religions or cultures and there's no real point to it. There's no need to put down people who have different views of other people. We are all the same species, no one is above anyone else. When I realizd what belief i really believed in, I told only those who I thought really needed to know, to find out who my real friends were. These days the only time i really get in detail with my belief is when someone asks me what religion i am. Otherwise, i don't really talk about it, except online. I don't want to make people feel like I'm pressing my religion on them, for that is one thing I never want to do. The best thing I can do to show people who I really am is to follow my crede and continue doing what feels right. Thank you for the kind and wise words Jeem.<br />
-Jacoab

catori luna, thank you for the comment on my story :) it is a shame that some people don't take their time to understand wicca, but we can't force them to. The most we can do is show them our respect and live by the wiccan crede. I'm glad to hear that your friends accept and encourage your belief, even to let you read tarot cards and lead mediation for them. that's pretty cool in my eyes. My friends aren't so embracing of my belief. I don't really talk about mine too much, but they show me some respect when I do. They don't believe it is something to mess with (My best friend kindly told me I'm going to hell for it, but he accepts it and doesn't avoid me for my beliefs or press his on me. He's still one of my best friends.) and it sometimes led to me not getting a girlfriend, but my faith is still strong. And wicca is still the best thing that has ever hap[pened to me, for made me discover my true self and who I really am. I'll try to enlighten others, but not forcefully. that's all I can do really. Thank you again Catori Luna<br />
-Bless be-<br />
Jacoab

catori luna, thank you for the comment on my story :) it is a shame that some people don't take their time to understand wicca, but we can't force them to. The most we can do is show them our respect and live by the wiccan crede. I'm glad to hear that your friends accept and encourage your belief, even to let you read tarot cards and lead mediation for them. that's pretty cool in my eyes. My friends aren't so embracing of my belief. I don't really talk about mine too much, but they show me some respect when I do. They don't believe it is something to mess with (My best friend kindly told me I'm going to hell for it, but he accepts it and doesn't avoid me for my beliefs or press his on me. He's still one of my best friends.) and it sometimes led to me not getting a girlfriend, but my faith is still strong. And wicca is still the best thing that has ever hap[pened to me, for made me discover my true self and who I really am. I'll try to enlighten others, but not forcefully. that's all I can do really. Thank you again Catori Luna<br />
-Bless be-<br />
Jacoab

I agree with you there Jeem. i wish people accepting, or at least respecting, other beliefs (I'm not just taliking about Wicca but with all religions). Every day, i hear alot bad things or jokes about other religions or cultures and there's no real point to it. There's no need to put down people who have different views of other people. We are all the same species, no one is above anyone else. When I realizd what belief i really believed in, I told only those who I thought really needed to know, to find out who my real friends were. These days the only time i really get in detail with my belief is when someone asks me what religion i am. Otherwise, i don't really talk about it, except online. I don't want to make people feel like I'm pressing my religion on them, for that is one thing I never want to do. The best thing I can do to show people who I really am is to follow my crede and continue doing what feels right. Thank you for the kind and wise words Jeem.-Jacoab

I must admit, apart from my parents views, i had it easy when i told my friends i was wiccan, they all thought it was the right thing for me, and now they ask for tarot readings and for me to lead meditations for this or that, and ask for my carved candles ^_^ I can honestly say wicca is the best thing that has ever happened to me =) It's just a shame some people can't accept it...<br />
Either way, perfect love and perfect trust =)<br />
Blessed Be<br />
)O(

Hey Nightowl..I just wanted to say that I hope I didn't sound too calous with my last post. I understand that what I said is definatly "easier said than done" and I'm very sorry that you or anyone doesn't feel that they can be honest with there loved ones. That is very difficult thing to deal with. Just keep being true to yourself and you will eventually find that there is ilttle to fear.<br />
<br />
Peace

Hmmm....Thats very interesting to know. I honestly wouldn't have expected that.. From your statment I would have to gather that there is something very special and empowering there for them if they are willing to keep it from there loved ones. I repsect there them for that, because I can definatly relate to that aswell. I don't feel comfortable telling my family the *details* of my spiritual beleifs let alone friends and colleages, but I'm totally fine with that. I have very good relations with all of them. Infact its probably better that I keep them to myself. I'm not even telling the details of my beliefs right now. I don't need to. If other people don't get your beliefs, fine. It doesn't make them right or wrong or you right or wrong or you or them good or bad or WHATEVER!<br />
<br />
Be true to yourself and let other people be ...whereever they may be. even if they don't return the same respect. to you. ESPECIALLY if they don't retrun the same respect to you.

u wouldn't belief how many adults and teens that are wiccan that dont tell the ones they love because of the fear of not being excepted and being shut out FIGHT THE FEAR !

Hey Jacob. I have to admit that when I first saw the tiltle I thought, Oh here's another kid who just trying to be different"(and thats not nessacarily all that bad either) ,But after reading your story I have to say that the Wiccan belief obviously really touched home with you. I know other people who are Wiccan, mostly women because it does empower women more than the other traditional religons do and I am all for that. Thats a whole other topic though.<br />
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I know it is probably important to let your family know where you stand when it comes to spiritual beliefs, especially if they are devoted to thier religon as your mom seems to be to her Baptist church. That can be very tough in some families, but when it come to most people...your spiritual belief just isn't there buisness. I'm not saying don't tell anybody else, but if you want to share your beliefs, share it through your actions on how you treat other people. This is what I believe to the biggest problem with the major religons. Christians in particular.(oh crap, here we go) Its not our job to bring people to God, we need to bring God to people. Meaning that all we really need to do is to love people as God loves us. We don't need to keep try ing to convince them of anything. Trying to validate our own beliefs by convincing other people of them, does not make a spiritually sound person.<br />
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For me, - as far as most people are concerned..I let them think I'm an athiest or agnostic or whatever. And actually.. when it comes to social or political views - I tend to side more with Athiest and agnostics even though I am very spiritual person. I just try to let my actions define where I stand in the universe and not my mouth.<br />
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Anyway, after saying all that - I am very happy for you. You seem like a very caring and a very bright young man. I wish you all the best, but remeber...In the end, nobody will remember you for what you think, only for what you do.

Thank you, and I totally agree with you about religion and color of skin shouldn't matter. We are allo human beings and any discrimmination between those two, or any thing that makes us different, is just non logical hatred. It's pointless