Am I Just A Little Crazy?
Tomorrow, well technically later today, i am going to my first visit with a therapist. Now of course I DO NOT want to go at all but... i dont really have a say in the matter. I was diagnosed with GAD in late january of this year. Though I am quite sure I have had it my entire life I was just to afraid to admit it to others, or maybe just to myself. I've been on a few different medications so far this year my first being Zoloft. I started at the lowest dosage of 25mg at my first doctors appt. I was really against medication and seeing a therapist but my doctor suggested both, and my mother agreed. Eventually I had been up'd so many times on my Zoloft I had reached the maximum dosage of 200mg. By this time I was no longer feeling any effect of it. Then came the worst news, my doctor told me there was nothing else he could do for me, he wasnt qualified to give me the kind of attention and medical care that i needed. By this point i had tears in my eyes, i felt like no one could eer help me. That i was just some lost soul that would never be 'normal'. Its just so frustrating knowing that something is wrong with you but not knowing who could fix it or if it even could be fixed. Currently i am taking the lowest dosage of Paxil which is 10mg i think. In the past monthi have been switched from Zoloft to Celexa(?) and Vistaril to Paxil, busbar(?), and Vistaril. I have finally found some glimmer of hope in the paxil , but who knows how long that will last. Maybe I should just give up on the meds and try to just deal with who i am, but for now i have to wait and see where this path will take me. Somewhere towards normal, or maybe back to the beginning. Whos to know for sure.