My Stupid Worthless Life.

I feel like im drowning in my own sorrow.. i feel stupid and dumb for thinking anyone would even care about reading this.. but it just feels good to type it out.. no one gets me.. the only person who sorta does is my moms friend i have been depressed sence i was twelve and i am fourteen now.. ive allways been scared of suicide so i dont think i would ever do it.. but ive thaught about it.. my lifes been rough.. my uncles on drugs constantly stealing things and has even stole all my expensive things.. and my mom blamed me for it cause i didnt "keep an eye on it" ?? and my mom smokes weed and thats where ALL of her money goes.. she cant even afford to think about getting me help.. and my grandma takes it out on me by yelling about my uncle allways doing drugs and hes on the run from jail. and my grandpa being an abusive drunk and my mom being a pot head that cant pay her bills.. i feel sorry for her i really do but i cant take it any more.. i also have people that i try to care about.. i never knew my dad till last year, he stayed around and called me all the time for like 2 weeks then i dont hear from him anymore till a couple months later .. and now i dont talk to him like anymore.. that like tore me to peices.. and my grandmas brother passed away last year.. and he was someone i was really close to... i miss him soo much, he really understood what it was like cause he was down syndrome and everybody judged him... i hated that!!! but like two days after that happened my uncle overdosed on heroin and 3 days after that he overdosed again and almost died.. i had like 10 panic atacks last year. cause im a nervous kid anyway.. and i just cant take it any more.. my moms friend had asked me if i wanted her to take me to therapy cause my mom wont .. and of course i want her too.. but i dont want her to waste her time on me .. and i said that.. but shes had a rough life too and i dont want to make hers even more rough worrying about me.. i swear she likes me more than anyone i know.. shes like my second mom! and i almost forgot to mention that i cant seem to find a friend that isnt fake... i hate it.. and i dont want to do anything anymore.. and my friends dont get that im depressed and they get mad at me when i dont want to hang out.. me and my one friend almost fist faught over it.. im tired of living my life like this!
skysky95 skysky95
Jul 29, 2010