When You Look At Me

You see a girl with a bright smile, perfect hair and makeup,and expensive clothes. But if you really looked into my eyes, or removed my bracelets to see my scars, you'd know it's all fake. You'd know that I'd give it all up to be happy. That 90% of the time, I dont even want to get out of bed. That I wish I could cry. They say all you need in this world is love, but after being sexually abused I dont think ill ever get it.
OneFalseHope15 OneFalseHope15
18-21, F
2 Responses Aug 9, 2010

Right now I can not imagine how any of you are feeling. I am outraged that anyone would take advantage of the innocence of a child. My only thought process at this moment is to say to all of you is to put all these evil doers on blast. Tell everybody that you know and everybody that they know what they have done to you. Dont protect them by not putting the truth out. Scream it out to the world so that these predators can be exposed to the world. I get so sick and tired of hearing about sexual predators getting away with taking advantage of children and go on with their lives while the victims have to live miserably. You have to take a stand or the cycle will be repeated . With the last word, it's never your fault. Tell, tell, tell.

I sound sarcastic when I say that i'm sorry or aww, so I wont. But I will say that, as a sixteen year old who has been battling with depression properly since I was fourteen(I think it probably started when my father died, i was six) I kind of understand what you're going through. Since i have never been abused the closest I can get to knowing how you're feeling is asking my mother. She was abused by her uncle on a regular basis until he moved away with his family and had an argument with my grandma. <br />
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On the love front, it's different for different people. My mother learnt to trust and love again, I wouldn't be here otherwise and i know she loved my father. I know it's a different circumstance but when my dad died, followed a few years later by my grandfather then uncle who had replaced him kind of, I struggled to feel love towards anyone. I still can't properly love someone for fear they may be taken from me but i'm getting better at it. :) I hope you will be ok.