Im Going Insane.

when i was younger, i always thought people who cut were weird and wrong. but now i know exactly how they feel. i gave up hope in everything, my friends, family, god. im an athesit now. My parents yell at me for being one, they tell me they hate me and how they didnt raise me like this. they make me be the parents of the house, making me clean everything and take care of everyone. then they yell at me for not doing anything, so they take away my laptop, phone, ipod etc. life is pointless, everyone hurts, its not fair, why would anyone want to be apart of a world that screws people over left and right. i know i dont. i wunna kill myself but im afriad of the pain it will cause me and my friends. i cutt myself. i dont know how it started but it happened and now im addicted. only three people no i cut, my ex-besfriend who i hate with all my guts and drives me insane. my ex-boyfriend who now is one of my bestfriends but doesnt know how to help me for his life. and my best friend who after i told wont even talk to me and is teaming up with my ex-best friend to try and "help" me, i dont want help, theres NOTHING that will help me. im screwed up in the head. im so depressed that no one will talk to me anymore and just ignores me because im "boring". i sit at home alone and dont talk to anyone. that gives me time to think about life and it screws me up more. i fake being happy so much that i cant even be happy for real, no matter what. i hate people, thier ******* *******. i dont know how to forgive and forget so now, whenever i look at someone i can never find the good in them, i hold ev erything they ever did thats bad against them. i cry everyday of my life about how much my life sucks, i need help but if i tell my parents they will only yell at me and tell me how stupid im being. i wish some one would understand and not just tell me how stupid i am. i need help not hate.
cuttildeath cuttildeath
13-15, F
1 Response May 28, 2011

I am sorry you are not feeling well.<br />
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You opened up your heart, and got no replies. Please remember, if you get no replies, it does not mean that people do not care. It means they might well not have read your post.<br />
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You have to remember, what you are going through, others have been through too. And there IS hope. It does not help that your parents are not understanding, but please don't hold it against them. Sometimes parents are just scared and don't know how to express themselves.<br />
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What you need to do is go to a counselor, and talk to them. And remember, everyday that you get through, is a day where you beat your depression. Be proud.