Who Knows?

I am a teen with depression, that's how I'm supposed to start this right? Well, it's true I am a 14 year-old girl who suffers from depression. You might be thinking "oh, she's only 14, she can't possibly be depressed." Or, you might even say that I'm looking for attention. Both of those previous statements are false. There is a huge dullness is my "soul", though I'm not sure if "soul" is the right word. I've had this sadness/dullness/lack-of-emotion/depression for about 2 years. I don't even know why I have it, sure there are a few bad things in my life, I'll even tell you one: when I was a little girl, my mother's ex boyfriend lost his temper. He had beaten my brother until he was unconcious. Then, he took my mother and I and he drove us somewhere (I have no idea where). He left me in the car and took my mother out. I remember closing my eyes. All I heard was her screaming, then nothing. He killed her, it's as simple as that. Enough about the past though, let's get back on topic. Yes, I have cut myself, not on my wrists or ankles, but I would cut my hips and across my stomach, I'm not sure why, it never really made me feel better. No, I am not on medication for my depression, my guardians don't know how sad I am, I always put on a happy face for them so they don't worry. I have been bullied, not because Im obese, or handicapped, or anything like that, but for no apparent reason. I actually have no idea what I'm typing, or why. Maybe I'm just venting. Maybe I need help.
FearMeImShort FearMeImShort
18-21, F
1 Response May 14, 2012

I wrote this two years ago, when I was 14. I am 16 now, and I do still suffer from depression.