Scary Opportunity.

Oh boy, where do I begin. I knew my father was not happy at a job he currently had. He wasn't doing what he wanted to do as a job. I understood he wanted a job somewhere else, I never knew he'd get one.. He almost got one in Arizona, & I am in Michigan (for now). That scared me, though. Then he got one in Chicago! 
"I got the job! You sure you're alright with this?" 
"Of course."
I couldn't tell him no! He sacrificed so much for me, I can at least try moving for him, can't I? I love my dad. He has always been one of my best friends. After he got the job he left a week and a half later. I never knew this would be so hard, but he got an apartment in Chicago & only came home every other weekend. Mind you, I am very close with him & my mother. I have always had them in my life & I never understood that I really need them around me 24/7. I was very used to having him home every day & whenever I needed him. Every time me and my mother had to leave him in Chicago or vice versa, my mom cried. The hardest thing I have ever had to do was hear, "You know that picture you colored for your dad before we left his apartment? He went into his room & found it on his bed. He told me started crying."
I wrote about that in my notebook a few days later in my English class because we were required to write. I was almost in tears while writing about it. I remember I wrote, "I felt as if I was leaving a part of me behind. I then remember I was. I was leaving my best friend, my dad."
It breaks my heart to even think about that. The strongest man in my life cried right in front of me. I was okay after a while, I was ready to move, emotionally speaking. Then I met the most amazing boy in the whole world. I know this may sound really stupid considering I am a teen, but I really liked him before I even said hi to him. We talked that night, I got to know him in 2 hours. Then we couple skated at the local roller arena. He became my best friend that night, also my boyfriend. I am in love with him no matter what anyone thinks. I don't care what I am or what you think, I feel how I feel. We have been together for a long period of time now, & we're so happy. I have never been so happy before. The only time I feel alright now is around him. I see him about 1-2 times a week & we text as much as possible & talk on the phone frequent. 
School is almost over & i have been the new kid twice. I am going into High School, & my new school is HUGE! Everyone is so happy about school being done in a few weeks, but whenever someone brings it up I start freaking out. I have had major breakdowns & have been to the point of crying all night & not being able to control myself. I have found it hard to talk to people about my issues. I only talk to my boyfriend, he is the only one who I feel wont judge me. He always tells me it is okay to be okay & he will love me no matter where I go & what happens.
Positives: I am coming back frequently for my sister who is engaged & should be getting married next year, & also because my mother is the one who has to take control of my uncle (her older brother)'s life. That has also had a major impact on my life, seeing him get sicker & sicker used to kill me inside. Now I am okay, I have gotten to the point where I understand what happens, happens. Although I love him, I still understand the situation.
I am completely broken. Day after day I have researched symptoms of depression & I match up with most. I have not told my parents. Whenever I cry about moving & my dad knows, he feels as if it is ALL his fault. He says he made a mistake & he's going to quit. What doesn't help him saying that is my sister always says, "You are abandoning me." She is not moving with us because of her boyfriend of 5 years who she is getting married to. Help me, advice, please. I know my story may seem like nothing compared to others. I am still having a hard time & feel as if I am being a baby about this. I am leaving my memories behind, my life, my friends, my family, my boyfriend. This is so hard.3l
YouandMe11 YouandMe11
2 Responses May 15, 2012

You are not alone. I am in your corner. Please add me as a friend or message me any time you want to talk about this or anything else. I understand.

Yes I can relate to you. I just did not know how difficult this would have been but now I do. I had a friend that was a sister to me. Her and I had been in and out of each other's lives since the time we met at a summer camp.<br />
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Her closeness was shattered because of him being involved in illegal activities. I rather not give the details. However, it was serious enough that her mother felt she needed to move them out of the state. This devastated this girl.<br />
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She was not able to keep in touch with her dad and felt her mom was the enemy. I was the closest thing to a male role model she had. I understood her the best.<br />
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Well eventually things got worst and she ended up in foster care. She did not feel safe in the home because of a friend that was living in the home at the time. He was not abusive but he definitely was not supportive either. <br />
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Not being able to express her desires for living in a way that was contradictory to the way her family lived. I was living in another country; she ended up taking her own life. So I am reaching out to teenagers because I do care.

Oh my goodness, thank you so much. This made my day that you commented that story. It made me feel... not alone.