What Does My Depression Feel Like?

You get out of it’s hold, take a breath of relief when you feel yourself relaxing slightly and then all it takes is one second and it all comes crashing back down, pulling you back in with 101 reasons as to why you’re not good enough. It covers your mouth so you can’t talk to anyone, grabs hold of the places you’re the most insecure and squeezes them, making them hurt even more. It all gets darker in a split second. You hurt but you don't know what type of 'hurt' this 'hurt' is. You hurt mentally. You hurt physically. You hurt. You just all around hurt. And there is NOTHING you can do about it. All you think about is having no friends. You cry and Cry and CRY for a reason you are unaware of. You can’t focus in school. You'd rather stay home and your anxiety is off the charts. Constantly nervous, paranoid, and shaking. 24 hours a day. 7 days a week. The only time it stops is when you're sleeping. But even then it DOES NOT STOP. You dream. About your life as hell. About your depression. About killing yourself because there is nothing left. You have lost interest in EVERYTHING. There is nothing left for you to like because none of it likes you. You would much rather sleep than do anything else because you are ALWAYS tired. You go home lay down and think. Think about how bad your life is. You are in constant pain and sit there and remind yourself that you are worthless. You simply remember you have no future and you have simply been lost in the dark. Depression runs through me. I have no cuts. I have not one scar. But I’m broken. My heart, broken into pieces.
AndForOnceIThoughtYouLovedMe AndForOnceIThoughtYouLovedMe
13-15, F
4 Responses Dec 12, 2012

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You just put my heart into words.

THis is exactly how I feel with my depression and anxiety, strange but good to know there's others who feel the same. Have you been to the doctors to get help at all?

I can't even... This was so scarily accurate.

When you suffer with deprression, you kinda know what it feels like.