Facing The World By Myself

People don't know how I feel. They don't know what it's like to be in a crowded room and still feel lonely. I feel like everyone eventually leaves, no one actually cares. That's the reason I started self-harming because I feel that empty loneliness inside and I can't help but breakdown sometimes. No one can understand me. It's like no one is out there that will help me with this pain of being lonely...they don't know how it feels. It's like you'll die alone. I've never been tested for depression so I can't say I actually have it but its been 3 years since I've felt this way. All I want is for someone to care, someone to love me no matter how messed up I am. I just want someone to care for me and not make me feel lonely anymore....that's all I want someone who cares. Is that so bad to ask for?
justahuman justahuman
13-15, F
6 Responses Dec 19, 2012

I dont know you but i care no matter how messed up you are i freakin care : )

youre so strong. hang in there love, im always here for you to talk. im only 15 years old but ive been through a hell of alot for a teenager. ive been through all kinds of pain, so i know i can talk.

i can continue your story. u want someone that cares, someone that you can pick up the phone and talk to for hours about your problem, someone who will respond with what you need to hear, not what he/she thinks is right. someone who's always close, who knows how you think and knows what to say or do to make you happy. a friend, a sister, a boyfriend, a guy friend, an uncle, just anyone. someone who wouldn't just talk to you if he or she needs something. someone who gives you loong answers and helpful advices when you tell him/her how you feel, not just reply by a sad face :( and try to escape hearing your drama. a real friend, one that could tell what you feel when you can't translate your deep emotions into words. SOMEONE THAT ALWAYS CARES, NO MATTER WHAT. how do i know all of this? well, all my friends are fake and who i consider real friends are miles away from me. my family gives me grown up advices, which doesn't help at all, but sounds like judgment. i have no one to talk to who would understand. i lived through conditions no one can imagine, and i have no one to talk to. what hurts more is when i think I'm being selfish because people around the world are loosing loved ones everyday and they're still on their feet, while i am falling down from the first tests life gave me. i could go on and on but you probably got bored from reading this right now, so feel free to talk to me when you feel lonely again. Hope it gets better :)

I'm not you, so I don't know exactly what you're feeling, but from what you said, it sounds quite a lot like what I'm going through. I am also a depressed, lonely, self-harmer. I know what I want more than anything right now is someone to talk to who won't judge me or abandon me, so if you feel similarly and ever want to talk about anything at all, please feel free to email me: crookshankscat7@gmail.com

I know it can be very difficult to believe but there are people who have experienced similar feelings or are currently experiencing them. When I was a teenager I also felt overcome by despair and loneliness. You are unique and I can't know exactly what you're feeling, but I want you to know that I care. Life is difficult but it also includes wonderful experiences and I hope that you will encounter them soon. Please ask for help with your self harm tendencies. With love, from a survivor of depression

Not at all. It just takes time and dedication to find. You've lasted this long, right? You never know what might be around the corner, who you might meet tomorrow, who might change your world in one fell swoop. Hold fast, it will be okay, usually when you least expect it to get better, it does.