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Seeing My Blood Dripping From My Pulse Makes Me Feel Good

i just cant control myself from getting stick with a blade when i feel depressed .. i used to cry everytime my boyfriend and i quarrel .. just to stop myself from suffering, i used to cut my pulse.. not so deep , i just wanted to see myself bleeding .. it makes me numb .. i dont know why .. can anyone tell me why am i like this?
charizantonette charizantonette 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 30, 2012

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Because you need the pain you feel inside to have a real, physical manifestation. Self loathing comes into it. Try running until you puke. It'll hurt even more, it'll be good for you, and the endorphins will likely snap you out of your funk and keep you grounded.

I have no idea why other than it distracts your hurting heart by hurting yourself physically. You are to young and attractive to be hurting. No relationship is perfect and there will be pain. Please don't harm your lovely self over others! The world needs you in it.