I Dont Know What to Do.

Im 16, I hate saying i have depression even though i know its true. I hate my life and everything about it. Counslers have never helped because i know that they really dont know how i feel, im just another kid in their office. My brother was beaten ever since he was a little kid. My father got my sister pregnant and she had a challenged baby. She killed it. I live with my grandma out of town, but my mom lives in town. So im always there. Everyday, it never fails, my brother has a freak out. If my mom doesnt do something he wants, or she tells him no, he screams and yells and calls her REALLY bad names. He breaks things ALL the time. We have no doors in the house cause of it. He is bipolar and has PDS. Everyone thinks i get jeleouse of him cause he gets so much attention. But its not that, its just that they think he is in so much pain they dont pay attention to the pain i have. They know its there, its just not important because my brothers is worse. My mom did dope while i was a baby so i have never really been with her. Today, i told mom a secret and she told all my friends. I got mad, and she kicked me out. I told her i wanted her to just shut up and not tell anyone. What i dont undersand is, i try to be my best everyday, i never do anything wrong. But im always the one in trouble. My brother NEVER gets in trouble. It sounds like little kid stuff. But i promise its not. That is just one of the few problems. My brother tells me all the time, "i dont know why your here, mom does not love you there is not point, you need to just kill yourself so we dont have to see you anymore." Mom hears it. And says nothing. I hid cutting myself from EVERYONE. And now that my brother knows, he wont leave me alone. Always calls me a poser and says i should cut a little deeper. I have been good about not doing it anymore. Sometimes i cry for no reason. Like im just sitting there, and i cry. I dont leave the house... ever. I want to fix things, i want everything to be better. I need someone to talk to, no one listens. I dont know what to do.

Rhyy Rhyy
15 Responses Jul 5, 2009

I have a similar situation. My mother is a drug addict. And she abandoned my family. I live with my dad. And she lives in town. My little sister lives with her. I hid cutting for a really long time, but then it got out and now I just don't care who knows. It's not like they care. And I agree about counselors, they definitely don't give a ****. My advice: do everything you can to get out of there. I have until June then I can leave for college. But until then I am forced to stay here and continue going to my current school even though every little thing that happens in this shithole makes me want to kill myself. And I believe you a million bajllion times that it is not little kid stuff, this **** happens to me all the time. My little sister gets praise for being a *****. She's 14, since July, and goes through over forty condoms in a week. My little brother ***** his pants and he's in seventh grade. He get praise as well. I'm making a future for myself and I don't get jack ****.

Oh dear.... You might want to move out? Like, maybe live with a friend, or any relatives who is close? Or, I'm not sure if it's legal where you stay, but maybe live in an apartment or smth. As much as I am tempted to blame your brother, it does suck to have those kinds. But that's no excuse for the pple round you to just ignore it. You need to just take a break from home. Sometimes, that may let them see you in a new light or smth. You may want to have a diary, to write this down. Also, try keeping a hobby. I know it is tempting to cut (seeing that I do it myself), but it's not good. I'm fighting it, or at least trying, and you should to. As my friend says, there IS someone out there, who will love you, and support you, and will also need you. So stay strong.

How could you not be depressed! You are facing a horrible situation and you are strong to reach out. I wish I could be there for you, but I can't stop the abuse. I can witness it and tell you that you are sane to feel so crazy. Others have abandoned you, please do not abandon yourself. When you are able to financially escape, do so and focus on finding a way to love life even with your shattered heart. Please don't look for these abusive people to validate you. I'm 48 and my dad is still a **** to me. I still fight his voice. But I have found a way to live with his noxious presence in me without having it infect all of me. I believe in you. You will find a path out of this ****. You are stronger than you know.

Praise is to God, the knower of the unseen, Praise is to God who loves his creation! YOU ARE STRONG, DON'T EVER HURT YOURSELF, TRUST ME I LOVE YOU! IF YOU SURVIVE THIS YOU ARE MY INSPIRATION TO CARRY ON WITH MY LIFE WITH MY HEAD HELD HIGH! God is watching you! He is testing you to see if you will turn to him in grief... CALL SOMEONE! CALL CHILDLINE ANYONE. <3

O MY GOD!!!!!!!Please call young carers on 1800 442 636* you tell them all of this and they will do whatever they can to get you out. Don't call family they will just tell your mum or other family and it will get worse. Please get yourself out of there!!!!!

Talk to God in prayer hes always there to listen and he will understand

You can speak to me if you want - I can't believe what you are having to go through! Honestly, it's not fair that you are being put through this, I think you should find a way out of this, and don't listen to your brother - or your mother. I don't know what else to say, except that I think it would help a lot if you weren't surrounded by such unsupportive family members. I really hope things do start getting better, and speaking to supportive people will usually help.

Hey get in touch with me for some fun days out. you will get over it

I understand excatly how you feel . <br />
No one in my family understands and I cant tell my friends because they will probably laugh. Hopefully this is just a phase in your life, things HAVE to get better considering that life will change. Have a great day :]

By the way dont feel bad your not the only one. I admit it lol. To everyone because mines gotten so bad I just dont care anyone knows!

Everyone is here for a reason you will find your reason soon enough! It jsut takes a while for some people to realize what it is. I have a little sister and shes annoying to and never gets in trouble so i know shes 11. Im also 16 and battle depression and also go to a physic doctor! Its hard I know all about it! But write me when you get this and we will talk!<br />
By the way names Kaitlynn.

Oh my heart bleeds for you!<br />
<br />
Do you have family in the country? An Aunt?<br />
<br />
At 16 you should be enjoying your life!<br />
<br />
You do not need this!<br />
<br />
Speak to someone in your local Child Welfare Office!<br />
<br />
Tell them What is going on in your life!<br />
<br />
You deserve so much better!

you can write me if you like. you are right......i do not know how you feel. I only know how i feel and there are many times i just wished i were dead for one reason or another or................no reason at all. :-( i don't have to live that way, and neither does anyone else.

I wanted to send u a msg but have been blocked due to the age restriction, so anyway.<br />
Don't try to fix things. Move out.U didn't deserve all this. I have similar problems, but i never let him control me ever. Tell him straight that he's not the boss of u.

if you want you can talk to me. and just remember..you have your own life..you don't have to stay there forever.